Not 'Feel the Fear' but Social Psychology

I was going to start working on the "Feel the Fear" books after taking the day off on Sunday, but I got an email from a course I am taking in what I thought was two weeks saying that I could start it now so I did. At this time I am about over half of the videos watched and some reading done. There are many that looks like they are done. I love school and this course is going to be hard for me. But that does not mean I will not enjoy it. Oh and by the way, it is Social Psychology. I want to be in the 90s so that I get the chance to go to Stafford University and meet the Dali Lama. That would be sooooo cool. 

So all morning when I usually read emails and Facebook and do my blogging I was sitting in class (at home starting at the computer) watching my lectures and doing quizzes. I copied my reading assignment onto my Kobo so that I could read it when I had to make a trip out this afternoon. Now I have to get back and finish all the lectures so I can start doing my assignment. 
Ok so I will have almost three weeks to do it in but I have been one that likes to get things done right away or else I will wait until the last minute. Being only the first week, I am already learning so much about the way we see and think about things. As I take this course, I have to remember that being HSP I do think different, because of my LD I learn different and I might come out with different ideas and answers because of these. Maybe as I do this you will see a change in my thinking to, who knows.
So my plan is to share with you my assignments and my thoughts as I take this class and maybe add some of the book I was going to share with you, depending on how hard this class will be. From what I see it is not going to be a walk in the park, that is for sure.

Chapter 7: Close Relationships

Having relationships is part of life, whether it is just friends or a more closer relationship. As a HSP in a non-HSP world, it is hard not to have to have contact with non-HSP. But what is better for a closer relationship?

 

I never knew any of this until the last year so all my relationships were without the thought about my HSP. I think this has made things harder. I did not understand that I had pushed myself so hard to be like a non-HSP. This does not work out at all. You need to know yourself, you know that saying, love yourself before loving others. I was never good at that. 

I know see that you need to know and love yourself as an HSP so that you know what your limits are and how you can blend in with others whether they are HSP's or non. My children are also HSP and living with them most of the time is great, they do not want the loud world in our home. They are calmer most of the time. There are the meltdowns, when one gets overwhelmed then it can spread to the rest and the whole house is upset.

The big thing is to look at temperaments of each. If one is more out going or needs more thrills in their life, they might not work well with someone who is calmer. But if there is love, sometimes things can work out. There are always a group who go out and do things that are common and come home to their loving partner for some quiet time. It is a matter of balance and understanding each other. 

Sometimes though, it just not works out. You need to look at whether this is due to the past relationships on yours or their side of things. If you feel that past relationships are hindering you relationship now, maybe there is a little reframing to do. We have been doing reframing for a bit now so you might want to give it a try on your own. 

I plan to put mine up tomorrow.

Chapter 6: Work and Sensitivity

This is one of the reasons I needed to do this workbook. Being HSP I have had a really hard time finding where I fit. School was bad but I learned later that home school would have been a better fit for me. But that was not how it went and I have moved past that now. 

One of the hard things is that I have been told what I should be or do. I try to do the jobs I am told to do. I try to be what other want me to be, only to lose the jobs. It is hard to find a job that I am good at and pays. 

So I tried to start my own business. It was doing what I enjoy doing and maybe make a paycheck that I could live on. It did not work. At this time I am not making much, but I am OK with that. I still enjoy making the jewelry.

I had spent a lot of time in jobs that I was not happy in, I have special abilities and needs that makes me looked at and treated differently. I was let go for being too slow or not being happy enough. I was not really slow, I just processed things differently and took in too much at times. And not being happy. No matter how hard I tried I could not put a fake smile on my face. I looked like Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. I was never understood, but I didn't understand either.

In Elaine's workbook, page 140, she said that, "Our trait is basically a 'human diversity in the workplace' issue"... "Biologically, we HSPs are different." People like us for out creativity, vision, vigilance for errors and many other things. But once our other side starts to show, the overwhelming we feel, that we need some down time, we feel like we are being discriminated against. 

"Someday we will be valued." I would like to believe Elaine. I hope in time people will see the value of the information we have such as how to make an office space more quiet or the need for all worker to de-stress. 

But until the workplace changes, I will always have problems in the workplace. However, the first task is to appreciate myself as an HSP and teach others to appreciate my sensitivity.

Analyzing Social Flops

If you are thinking that you are awkward in social situations think about why. There are a bunch of reasons why you might think you are but do they really fit or are you over-thinking as we tend to do. Here is the list of what might be going on according to Elaine's workbook p.124 -127.

* The other person didn't seem to want to talk to you.

* The other person didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

* It's you who really didn't want to talk.

* You just couldn't think of anything to say.

* You did all the talking.

* The other person did all the talking and you felt bored.

* The other person walked away after a while.

* The other person was rude, argumentative.

We are not big on chit chat for we love the deeper talk and that is what gives us a hard time when it comes to social get-togethers. There might be times that you might have not socialized as well as you thought you should have. My thought is not to worry about it. But maybe you feel you need to reframe it. Well as you saw in the other blogs, you can do that. I am trying not to worry about others might thing of my flops in social settings.