I didn't do this one ahead of time so it might take a bit to get this done.
Reframing one of the most painful moments in adolescence is a very hard thing to do and maybe that was why I did not do it. There are a number to times that I could pick, but I think I was hoping to block them all out. But there are times that they do come back and it is time that I pick one and take a good look at it.
... I had one in mind, and was going to do that one, but then another one came to mind that I think is more painful and might explain a few things in my life. Again I think it is something my parents did not know about.
When I about 8 my family had to move because my father was in the air force. I had a few friends, one was a boy and it was that young boyfriend girlfriend thing that is all innocent and the most you do is maybe hold hands. I told this boy that I was coming back in four years. I did not know if I really would or not, my father could be transferred anywhere. But I was sure I would be coming back and see him.
I did come back to the same base. I was now 13. All the girls and boys were starting to 'date' still not to the point of doing anything towards the sexual, but still the girls were being excerpted by the guys. I realized that the boy was still there to. I got the guts to tell him that I was back, that we could be friends again.
I was shot down. I was told that I was stupid to think he would even know me. He wanted nothing to do with me and he put me down in front of his friends.
1. I was so embarrassed. I felt unwanted, ugly and stupid. I was crying and heartbroken.
2. I think since I have had a greater fear of not being liked. I am always willing to do whatever I need to, to be liked and loved. This means I have lost who I am so many times trying to make other to like me, to love me, and not to be angry at me.
3. Being sensitive, I have taken what people think of me very personally. I fear that people will think of me in the same way as he did that day. I have a hard time believing people who think that who I really am is good enough, beautiful or even close to smart.
4. I do not think if they had known about my sensitivity that it would have made any difference. Kids are cruel and they do not worry about other's feelings and might even use that even more.
5. If I had known about the sensitivity at that age, maybe I would not have let the even shape what I thought about myself and I would not have spent so many years trying to be not what I was, and not what people thought of me dictate must of my life.
6. My sensitivity had affected the way I looked at myself, making me afraid to trust anyone who had anything nice to say about myself. I had no one to help me understand that I was too sensitive to what he had said and that just because he might have felt that way, does not mean that everyone else did. I am not stupid, I am lovable and wanted. U am just sensitive.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Chapter 4 Your Childhood
As Lady Gaga said "I was born this way" and this is true about being highly sensitive. It seems to be hard to explain to non-HSP's that this is a trait that we were born with and not something that we 'learned'. Like blue eyes, I think I am the only one who has blue eyes out of my parents and my brother. I am also the only one who has kept a blondish colour hair. You can wear coloured contacts and you can dye your hair, but you are still the colour you are born with.
Being highly sensitive is what I am and I have accepted it. No one knew anything about it when I grew up and all the attention was put on helping me with my learning disability. Having both growing up has made my childhood difficult but not in the family home. I got the best support they could give, not knowing about the HS. They did what they could get get me help with my learning disability, even got into a privet school to help me with it. It is now really looked at as learning differences for I learned differently than others.
Being highly sensitive is also learning differently in that we take in more information and process it differently. I think since sensory processing sensitivity was not even thought of while I was growing up, the 'depressions' and shyness I was going through was a mix of both the learning and sensitivity differences. So when they thought that once I was helped with the learning disability it would help get rid of the depression. That was not the case and I still had ups and downs.
So, assessing my early childhood attachment style. I feel that my mother (the prime caretaker) was loving and was aware of my sensitivity though no one knew it as a trait. She was helpful when I needed it (or asked) and let me learn on my own when I needed. I have good memories of that part of growing up.
School was a whole different problem. I remember the teacher saying I was cheating. I had a habit of starting into space to daydream, or to 'see' answers on blank wall. She keep telling me that I was cheating. I was then made to see in front of the class. This would have been bad enough, but then there was a cardboard divider put around me, a box so that I could not see the class. To me that was the most embarrassing moment in my life. Not only was I pointed out as a 'cheater' I was also pointed out as different from everyone else. I remember that there was a kid in the class that had ADHD and he was able to sit in the back of the class and just roll around on the floor and 'play', ignored for his difference.
This made me feel that I was 'wrong' to be different, because I thought differently I was treated differently. Part of it was my learning disability part of it was because of my HSP. I was very sensitive in how I was treated.
I never wanted to seen as different. Different was looked at as someone to make fun of. Being on the front of the class made me feel like everyone was looking at me, watching me even thought the box was hiding me.
If the teacher and my parents knew I was HSP maybe I would not have been pointed out as much. Maybe I would have had the strength to say that I was not cheating but 'daydreaming' for the answer. I might not have felt so different and I would not feel that school was a hurtful place to go.
There was nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. I am just different, but not alone, there are many just like me. I have wonderful, interesting qualities such as my passion for creativity. I needed to be raised with special care, though they learned about the learning disability, no one new about the HSP trait. Above all, I needed to have more successful experiences and never been shamed for the sensitive reaction. A lot of pain would have been prevented if people knew about the trait but I am a more compassionate person because of it.
Being highly sensitive is what I am and I have accepted it. No one knew anything about it when I grew up and all the attention was put on helping me with my learning disability. Having both growing up has made my childhood difficult but not in the family home. I got the best support they could give, not knowing about the HS. They did what they could get get me help with my learning disability, even got into a privet school to help me with it. It is now really looked at as learning differences for I learned differently than others.
Being highly sensitive is also learning differently in that we take in more information and process it differently. I think since sensory processing sensitivity was not even thought of while I was growing up, the 'depressions' and shyness I was going through was a mix of both the learning and sensitivity differences. So when they thought that once I was helped with the learning disability it would help get rid of the depression. That was not the case and I still had ups and downs.
So, assessing my early childhood attachment style. I feel that my mother (the prime caretaker) was loving and was aware of my sensitivity though no one knew it as a trait. She was helpful when I needed it (or asked) and let me learn on my own when I needed. I have good memories of that part of growing up.
School was a whole different problem. I remember the teacher saying I was cheating. I had a habit of starting into space to daydream, or to 'see' answers on blank wall. She keep telling me that I was cheating. I was then made to see in front of the class. This would have been bad enough, but then there was a cardboard divider put around me, a box so that I could not see the class. To me that was the most embarrassing moment in my life. Not only was I pointed out as a 'cheater' I was also pointed out as different from everyone else. I remember that there was a kid in the class that had ADHD and he was able to sit in the back of the class and just roll around on the floor and 'play', ignored for his difference.
This made me feel that I was 'wrong' to be different, because I thought differently I was treated differently. Part of it was my learning disability part of it was because of my HSP. I was very sensitive in how I was treated.
I never wanted to seen as different. Different was looked at as someone to make fun of. Being on the front of the class made me feel like everyone was looking at me, watching me even thought the box was hiding me.
If the teacher and my parents knew I was HSP maybe I would not have been pointed out as much. Maybe I would have had the strength to say that I was not cheating but 'daydreaming' for the answer. I might not have felt so different and I would not feel that school was a hurtful place to go.
There was nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. I am just different, but not alone, there are many just like me. I have wonderful, interesting qualities such as my passion for creativity. I needed to be raised with special care, though they learned about the learning disability, no one new about the HSP trait. Above all, I needed to have more successful experiences and never been shamed for the sensitive reaction. A lot of pain would have been prevented if people knew about the trait but I am a more compassionate person because of it.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Shutting Out Sound
Sounds, since we can not close our ears, sounds are hard to shut out. Covering your ears with your hands makes it hard to do anything else. But they do have a lot of new and old things that will help when we are being overwhelmed by the noise around us.
One is to carry earplugs. I worked in a factory a while ago and we didn't have to wear them, but I believe it would have been better for me if I had. The foam ones are great, they roll in you fingers, are places in your ears and then fatten up in the ears to fit.
With new technology, there are phones that can be turned of or you can use ring tones that are much gentler. There are apps. that can be used on your cell phone that create white noise or sounds of nature to drown out other noise. These phones are also great for listening to music when you need to. I use to listen to music while on the bus. I could concentrate on the words to the songs and not see the bus get more crowded as we made stops along the way.
If you can, you can soundproof your home. This is hard to do when living in apartments, but there might be other ways to go about it. Even if it is putting up a fake wall. We can ask or move to quieter corners when we are out.
One thing I have done for years is sort of downing out the sounds. It started out just daydreaming. And then I just started concentrating on what I was doing to the point that I was not really hearing what was going on around me. This helps with trying to change the thoughts about the sound to, putting your might on something else so that the anger of the sound being a bother is not in the front part of your thoughts. This is not easy, but if you can do it, it does help.
One is to carry earplugs. I worked in a factory a while ago and we didn't have to wear them, but I believe it would have been better for me if I had. The foam ones are great, they roll in you fingers, are places in your ears and then fatten up in the ears to fit.
With new technology, there are phones that can be turned of or you can use ring tones that are much gentler. There are apps. that can be used on your cell phone that create white noise or sounds of nature to drown out other noise. These phones are also great for listening to music when you need to. I use to listen to music while on the bus. I could concentrate on the words to the songs and not see the bus get more crowded as we made stops along the way.
If you can, you can soundproof your home. This is hard to do when living in apartments, but there might be other ways to go about it. Even if it is putting up a fake wall. We can ask or move to quieter corners when we are out.
One thing I have done for years is sort of downing out the sounds. It started out just daydreaming. And then I just started concentrating on what I was doing to the point that I was not really hearing what was going on around me. This helps with trying to change the thoughts about the sound to, putting your might on something else so that the anger of the sound being a bother is not in the front part of your thoughts. This is not easy, but if you can do it, it does help.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Umbrella
I read in Elaines's workbook about using the idea of an umbrella to
protect yourself from the moods of strangers when you are out. I have been doing something similar with what I called my bubble, but the
book said to try to picture an umbrella. As an HSP I am a receiver of other's feeling, moods and tones and this leads to processing deeply the information around me.
Then the umbrella is down it can collect all the
emotions that others are giving off. But if you open the umbrella it can
bounce those emotions back to them and not be affected by them. You are broadcasting that you are not receiving their moods but saying to them, "Hello, I am busy and doing my thing."
You think about the umbrella up and your mind is thinking about what you need to do so that you are not receiving but sending out that you are busy. I have done this a number of times, with my bubble, but I am also seen as not friendly. Sometimes I have missed seeing people that I know, not acknowledging them. I do not have a smile on my face and they see me as unhappy. This has happened at work. I am in such deep thought, trying to get things done, that people think I am not liking what I am told or asked to do, completely miss reading my attitude. So here is a question, how do you protect yourself and seam friendly at the same time? We all see through fake smiles.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Not Doing What You Need?
If you are spending too much time in, or spending too much to out you need to really think about why you are doing that. When it is about your health, it is important to do what is best for you health. Ask yourself why you are no doing it.
But there are times when you really do not have a choice. I had two children to raise so I had to go back to work every time I had the chance. But was it worth it? I would be able to work about two years before I would be told that I had to quite so that they didnt have to let me go for not being happy enough. That might sound fishy and maybe I could have fought keeping my jobs if I had known about being highly sensitive, but I only knew that I was a cry baby and I could not get myself happy enough for anyone.
A lot of the cases it is that we are expected to be like everyone else and about to work just as long, just as hard, and be like them. I am not like the non-HSP's and no matter how hard I try, I will never be. Now that I know about being a HSP I am trying to adjust what I am doing. But the thoughts are still in my head that I should be doing more, be more 'normal' but this is jeopardizing my health.
I need to slow down and think about my health. I need to stop working until bed time. I need to start taking a day off each week and taking time off, a whole week a couple of times a year. I am not normal, I am me and I love and am accepting me as I am. I can physically work just as hard and as long as anyone else can, but this is not good for me for I get overwhelmed with all that is going on around me. My central nervous system can not take all the information it is taking in.
This is about my and your health and we need to take care of ourselves because no one is going to do it for us.
But there are times when you really do not have a choice. I had two children to raise so I had to go back to work every time I had the chance. But was it worth it? I would be able to work about two years before I would be told that I had to quite so that they didnt have to let me go for not being happy enough. That might sound fishy and maybe I could have fought keeping my jobs if I had known about being highly sensitive, but I only knew that I was a cry baby and I could not get myself happy enough for anyone.
A lot of the cases it is that we are expected to be like everyone else and about to work just as long, just as hard, and be like them. I am not like the non-HSP's and no matter how hard I try, I will never be. Now that I know about being a HSP I am trying to adjust what I am doing. But the thoughts are still in my head that I should be doing more, be more 'normal' but this is jeopardizing my health.
I need to slow down and think about my health. I need to stop working until bed time. I need to start taking a day off each week and taking time off, a whole week a couple of times a year. I am not normal, I am me and I love and am accepting me as I am. I can physically work just as hard and as long as anyone else can, but this is not good for me for I get overwhelmed with all that is going on around me. My central nervous system can not take all the information it is taking in.
This is about my and your health and we need to take care of ourselves because no one is going to do it for us.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
More About Balance
As HSP's we are continuing to find our balance of whelmness or stimulation. We can not function at our best if we are overwhelmed or underwhelmed. So we need to find our balance. Working on finding the balance is very important and is not a selfish act. I know I feel guilty for thinking about myself and I need to change that. I need to get my life balances and take care of myself so that my nervous system is comfortable and I am happy and healthy.
I would go though times when I was out too much and then have a complete meltdown, then I would become in too much and the non-HSP's would tell me that I needed to get out, do things, work lots of hours. I didn't understand why when I was out doing what I was lead to believe I was suppose to do, why I would continue to become overwhelmed to the point of meltdown. It was called depression, bipolar and anxiety. Now I know I am HSP and need to learn the balance.
As an introvert, I need to get out more, Many HSP's are introverts, but not all. I do not have much trouble getting out, I just forget that there is and "outside world" out there. So what can I do to get out there more, to get a reminder that there is a world out there.
* I do go to the post office every chance I get. It is something I was made fun of by an ex because getting mail was the excitement of the day sometimes. Ok, I was living on a hill, out in the country, there was not too many people out there.
* I could call a friend or someone I want to get to know, except my friends live very far away. I have one in Nova Scotia and one in England. I live in Ontario and that is a lot of 'space' between us, but I do email one all day and this has been great.
* If you have trouble getting out or a fear of going or doing something, bring a friend or support person. This person could motivate you and get you out more. My daughter wants to walk more and I should go out with her so that we have that time together to.
* Go for trips, short ones and long ones, whatever you can handle. We go to the beach during the week, when it is a lot less busy. It is beautiful and with so many less people around, you can enjoy the sun and the water. There is nothing like feeling the water flow over your feet and then retreat.
If you are one of the few that go out too much and find yourself tired and overwhelmed as I have done for five straight years, we need to find the balance of being in more. I am learning how to do this to.
* I read that I need more sleep. With this past year it took me some time to get that balanced, but I found that 9 hours is the best for me. I have slept 12 hours, was shocked with that. I adjusted the alarm so that I do not sleep past the 9 hours. If I need more rest later in the day because of being overwhelmed, I can take a nap with my cats who are good at letting you relax.
* Another thing I am having trouble with is taking time off. I should be taking a day off, no work, no errands, no blogging, but I have not been able to do that as of yet. I still feel like I am not doing enough.
* Plan a vacation... what is that, oh yes, I did that for the first time in many years about three years ago. I when to BC and when I got back I was blamed for thinking about myself too much. I had too much fun and didn't think of other enough. But now that I know about the HS. The vacation was exactly what I needed to do and it was the start of a new life. I need to plan more of these, one a year at least but should be closer to three, at different times of the year. So far, I have not does so... bad me.
* I meditate each morning, this keeps me from rushing into the day. This is about the only thing I have been able to enforce myself to do.
* Have a dark room that is quiet and lets you rest, meditate or read when you need it. This is my bedroom and it works well besides the cats. I feel at peace there and even if i just lay on the bed for five minutes it makes a big difference.
* Eat healthy meals, we all know what is healthy and not, but it is not always easy to do, I have been drinking smoothies, have to fight my baby, Phoenix (cat), for it. I throw in a little extra iron for I know that is what my body needs. There are many different smoothies to have that are healthy.
* There is many other things that are relaxing, there is reading a book, playing a gentle game (not the shoot-them-up kind), writing a journal or even a story, use aromatherapy; lavender is a good scent to use, while doing these things.
* Take care of our sensories, such as wearing headphones, sunglasses, a hat, or remembering to carry a healthy snack such as something with protein.
* Last but I think the most important thing is looking at your relationships, not just the person you are living with, but also relatives and friends and people you are around most of the time. You need to get rid of the negative ones if you can and learn to live with the ones you can't.
This could mean a big change in your life, but YOU are the important one. I have been doing a lot of adjusting in my life and I am careful with who I deal with now. If you are not good for me, I am sorry but I have to let you go. I need support not put downs and negativity. To be healthy I need to think of me and take care of me. I hope that you will help me be all I can be and still be me.
I would go though times when I was out too much and then have a complete meltdown, then I would become in too much and the non-HSP's would tell me that I needed to get out, do things, work lots of hours. I didn't understand why when I was out doing what I was lead to believe I was suppose to do, why I would continue to become overwhelmed to the point of meltdown. It was called depression, bipolar and anxiety. Now I know I am HSP and need to learn the balance.
As an introvert, I need to get out more, Many HSP's are introverts, but not all. I do not have much trouble getting out, I just forget that there is and "outside world" out there. So what can I do to get out there more, to get a reminder that there is a world out there.
* I do go to the post office every chance I get. It is something I was made fun of by an ex because getting mail was the excitement of the day sometimes. Ok, I was living on a hill, out in the country, there was not too many people out there.
* I could call a friend or someone I want to get to know, except my friends live very far away. I have one in Nova Scotia and one in England. I live in Ontario and that is a lot of 'space' between us, but I do email one all day and this has been great.
* If you have trouble getting out or a fear of going or doing something, bring a friend or support person. This person could motivate you and get you out more. My daughter wants to walk more and I should go out with her so that we have that time together to.
* Go for trips, short ones and long ones, whatever you can handle. We go to the beach during the week, when it is a lot less busy. It is beautiful and with so many less people around, you can enjoy the sun and the water. There is nothing like feeling the water flow over your feet and then retreat.
If you are one of the few that go out too much and find yourself tired and overwhelmed as I have done for five straight years, we need to find the balance of being in more. I am learning how to do this to.
* I read that I need more sleep. With this past year it took me some time to get that balanced, but I found that 9 hours is the best for me. I have slept 12 hours, was shocked with that. I adjusted the alarm so that I do not sleep past the 9 hours. If I need more rest later in the day because of being overwhelmed, I can take a nap with my cats who are good at letting you relax.
* Another thing I am having trouble with is taking time off. I should be taking a day off, no work, no errands, no blogging, but I have not been able to do that as of yet. I still feel like I am not doing enough.
* Plan a vacation... what is that, oh yes, I did that for the first time in many years about three years ago. I when to BC and when I got back I was blamed for thinking about myself too much. I had too much fun and didn't think of other enough. But now that I know about the HS. The vacation was exactly what I needed to do and it was the start of a new life. I need to plan more of these, one a year at least but should be closer to three, at different times of the year. So far, I have not does so... bad me.
* I meditate each morning, this keeps me from rushing into the day. This is about the only thing I have been able to enforce myself to do.
* Have a dark room that is quiet and lets you rest, meditate or read when you need it. This is my bedroom and it works well besides the cats. I feel at peace there and even if i just lay on the bed for five minutes it makes a big difference.
* Eat healthy meals, we all know what is healthy and not, but it is not always easy to do, I have been drinking smoothies, have to fight my baby, Phoenix (cat), for it. I throw in a little extra iron for I know that is what my body needs. There are many different smoothies to have that are healthy.
* There is many other things that are relaxing, there is reading a book, playing a gentle game (not the shoot-them-up kind), writing a journal or even a story, use aromatherapy; lavender is a good scent to use, while doing these things.
* Take care of our sensories, such as wearing headphones, sunglasses, a hat, or remembering to carry a healthy snack such as something with protein.
* Last but I think the most important thing is looking at your relationships, not just the person you are living with, but also relatives and friends and people you are around most of the time. You need to get rid of the negative ones if you can and learn to live with the ones you can't.
This could mean a big change in your life, but YOU are the important one. I have been doing a lot of adjusting in my life and I am careful with who I deal with now. If you are not good for me, I am sorry but I have to let you go. I need support not put downs and negativity. To be healthy I need to think of me and take care of me. I hope that you will help me be all I can be and still be me.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Finding the Middle
Now that we know why we should not be over stimulated all the time and being under stimulated either, for this is when you can over think and are bored;we have to find where the middle is. This is hard for us to find. Let's face it, we are always trying to do more then we should be, trying to make everyone happy and doing as much work as we can so that we do not look week.
Even though being over whelmed can be unhealthy for us, being underwhelmed is just as bad, as I said, before, being bored is not good. I am an introvert which people saw me as shy, but I still get out quiet a bit, maybe less so not, but being an introvert has never stopped me from being out. I am a little more cautious when I go to big gatherings, but it does not stop me. I am more of a wall flower, but if people want to talk to me, I am there, I am friendly even though I might look unfriendly.
I do find I am tired when I come home after a gathering, but that is ok, I can deal with that as long as I get the chance to rest.
My daughter will say she is bored and I look at her, wondering how to be bored. I am always learning new crafts or reading a new subject and writing or working. I have no idea what bored is. I do not have time to play games though I do play words with friends because it does not take a lot of time and it puts me 'out there' when is it so easy for me to just keep to myself.
I have a Canada Day gathering to go to and I have no issues going. I can step out when things get too much. But I know I need to go out and show people that I am still alive. I like talking to people and knowing how they are doing, but the small talk is not easy for me. I feel I sound fake. But it is part of being social.
It is finding the middle that I find hard. I have been going on overwhelmed for so long that I find it very hard to relax. I am working on it.
I try not to work too much, though the voice in my head says I should be. I like learning new skills and I like reading and writing. The reading is relaxing and cuddling is to. I am working at having the computer shut down by supper. It is hard, but I am working on it, finding the middle.
Even though being over whelmed can be unhealthy for us, being underwhelmed is just as bad, as I said, before, being bored is not good. I am an introvert which people saw me as shy, but I still get out quiet a bit, maybe less so not, but being an introvert has never stopped me from being out. I am a little more cautious when I go to big gatherings, but it does not stop me. I am more of a wall flower, but if people want to talk to me, I am there, I am friendly even though I might look unfriendly.
I do find I am tired when I come home after a gathering, but that is ok, I can deal with that as long as I get the chance to rest.
My daughter will say she is bored and I look at her, wondering how to be bored. I am always learning new crafts or reading a new subject and writing or working. I have no idea what bored is. I do not have time to play games though I do play words with friends because it does not take a lot of time and it puts me 'out there' when is it so easy for me to just keep to myself.
I have a Canada Day gathering to go to and I have no issues going. I can step out when things get too much. But I know I need to go out and show people that I am still alive. I like talking to people and knowing how they are doing, but the small talk is not easy for me. I feel I sound fake. But it is part of being social.
It is finding the middle that I find hard. I have been going on overwhelmed for so long that I find it very hard to relax. I am working on it.
I try not to work too much, though the voice in my head says I should be. I like learning new skills and I like reading and writing. The reading is relaxing and cuddling is to. I am working at having the computer shut down by supper. It is hard, but I am working on it, finding the middle.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Chapter 3: Taking Care of Your Sensitive Self
It is hard to take care of ourselves as HPS. I know I have in my mind to take care of others before I take care of myself. I also start thinking that others want me to be doing more, make more, be more. This is the wrong thinking for it makes me stressed and overwhelmed to the point where my body is screaming at me again.
If I am not taking care of myself, and start doing things the non-sensitive way I will be the one who will be suffering. Even if I am at a place that I am enjoying myself, if my body is suffering because of stress or it is overwhelmed I am not going to enjoy that time.
Overarousal is our Kripdinite or is it Cortisol? (From Elaine's Workbook), so we need to do what we can to take care that we do not get overwhelmed with the world around us. From what I have read cortisol stays in our body for a very long time. It has a lot of side effects that were not even mentioned in Elaine's book for it is not just HSP type of issues but those who tend to have anxiety and are building up this cortisol maybe the information I copied off Wikipedia will be of use.
Even a short state of being overwhelmed can lead to feeling stressed and anxious, tight muscles such as the neck and jaw, (my biting my tongue at night) sweating, memory issues, poor coordination and concentration, feeling anxious about getting things done, (so me) tired going to bed and just as tired or more so when you get up in the morning. (me also) The list goes on and if you have the workbook it is on page 74.
So how can you cope with situations that will have us stressing and building that high level of cortisol? Well we are all different and in different situations so what works with one, may not work with another. My daughter is in a very high level of anxiety and even talking about HSP with her is not going to help even though it is part of the issue. She needs help with the anxiety first.
The overwhelming feelings and the stress is the downside of being HSP and we all need ways to deal with it.
Here is my list of how I deal with being overwhelmed:
* When I feel overaroused I take time in my "dark room" the bedroom with the curtains closed and light off, no noise and a cat or three to pet as I rest.
* Learning to say NO when I need to, cutting down doing too much.
* Taking time off 'work'
* I meditate daily, first thing in the morning so that I do not feel rushed.
* I give myself permission to leave a situation if I feel overwhelmed.
* I bring the scent of lavender where ever I go to use when I need to breath in deeply.
If I am not taking care of myself, and start doing things the non-sensitive way I will be the one who will be suffering. Even if I am at a place that I am enjoying myself, if my body is suffering because of stress or it is overwhelmed I am not going to enjoy that time.
Overarousal is our Kripdinite or is it Cortisol? (From Elaine's Workbook), so we need to do what we can to take care that we do not get overwhelmed with the world around us. From what I have read cortisol stays in our body for a very long time. It has a lot of side effects that were not even mentioned in Elaine's book for it is not just HSP type of issues but those who tend to have anxiety and are building up this cortisol maybe the information I copied off Wikipedia will be of use.
Even a short state of being overwhelmed can lead to feeling stressed and anxious, tight muscles such as the neck and jaw, (my biting my tongue at night) sweating, memory issues, poor coordination and concentration, feeling anxious about getting things done, (so me) tired going to bed and just as tired or more so when you get up in the morning. (me also) The list goes on and if you have the workbook it is on page 74.
So how can you cope with situations that will have us stressing and building that high level of cortisol? Well we are all different and in different situations so what works with one, may not work with another. My daughter is in a very high level of anxiety and even talking about HSP with her is not going to help even though it is part of the issue. She needs help with the anxiety first.
The overwhelming feelings and the stress is the downside of being HSP and we all need ways to deal with it.
Here is my list of how I deal with being overwhelmed:
* When I feel overaroused I take time in my "dark room" the bedroom with the curtains closed and light off, no noise and a cat or three to pet as I rest.
* Learning to say NO when I need to, cutting down doing too much.
* Taking time off 'work'
* I meditate daily, first thing in the morning so that I do not feel rushed.
* I give myself permission to leave a situation if I feel overwhelmed.
* I bring the scent of lavender where ever I go to use when I need to breath in deeply.
" Cortisol
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Not to be confused with cortisone, a similar compound with a similar name, genesis, and function.
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Cortisol, known more formally as hydrocortisone (INN, USAN, BAN), is a steroid hormone, more specifically a glucocorticoid, produced by the zona fasciculata of theadrenal cortex.[1] It is released in response to stress and a low level of bloodglucocorticoids. Its primary functions are to increase blood sugar through gluconeogenesis; suppress the immune system; and aid in fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism.[2] It also decreases bone formation. Various synthetic forms of cortisol are used to treat a variety of diseases....
Other effects[edit]
See also: Glucocorticoid#Therapeutic use
Cortisol is released in response to stress, sparing available glucose for the brain, generating new energy from stored reserves, and diverting energy from low-priority activities (such as the immune system) in order to survive immediate threats or prepare for the exertion of rising to a new day. However, prolonged cortisol secretion (which may be due to chronic stress or the excessive secretion seen inCushing's syndrome) results in significant physiological changes.[1]
- Insulin
Cortisol counteracts insulin, contributes to hyperglycemia-causing hepatic gluconeogenesis[14] and inhibits the peripheral utilization of glucose (insulin resistance)[14] by decreasing the translocation of glucose transporters (especially GLUT4) to the cell membrane.[15][16]However, cortisol increases glycogen synthesis (glycogenesis) in the liver.[17] The permissive effect of cortisol on insulin action in liver glycogenesis is observed in hepatocyte culture in the laboratory, although the mechanism for this is unknown.
- Collagen
In laboratory rats, cortisol-induced collagen loss in the skin is ten times greater than in any other tissue.[18]
- Amino acids
Cortisol raises the free amino acids in the serum. It does this by inhibiting collagen formation, decreasing amino acid uptake by muscle, and inhibiting protein synthesis.[19] Cortisol (as opticortinol) may inversely inhibit IgA precursor cells in the intestines of calves.[20]Cortisol also inhibits IgA in serum, as it does IgM; however, it is not shown to inhibit IgE.[21]
- Gastric and renal secretion
Cortisol stimulates gastric-acid secretion.[22] Cortisol's only direct effect on the hydrogen ion excretion of the kidneys is to stimulate the excretion of ammonium ions by deactivating the renal glutaminase enzyme.[23] Net chloride secretion in the intestines is inversely decreased by cortisol in vitro (methylprednisolone).[24]
- Sodium
Cortisol inhibits sodium loss through the small intestine of mammals.[25] Sodium depletion, however, does not affect cortisol levels[26]so cortisol cannot be used to regulate serum sodium. Cortisol's original purpose may have been sodium transport. This hypothesis is supported by the fact that freshwater fish utilize cortisol to stimulate sodium inward, while saltwater fish have a cortisol-based system for expelling excess sodium.[27]
- Potassium
A sodium load augments the intense potassium excretion by cortisol; corticosterone is comparable to cortisol in this case.[17] For potassium to move out of the cell, cortisol moves an equal number of sodium ions into the cell.[28] This should make pH regulation much easier (unlike the normal potassium-deficiency situation, in which two sodium ions move in for each three potassium ions that move out—closer to the deoxycorticosterone effect). Nevertheless, cortisol consistently causes serum alkalosis; in a deficiency, serum pH does not change. The purpose of this may be to reduce serum pH to an optimum value for some immune enzymes during infection, when cortisol declines. Potassium is also blocked from loss in the kidneys by a decline in cortisol (9 alpha fluorohydrocortisone).[29]
- Water
Cortisol acts as anti- diuretic hormone, controlling one-half of intestinal diuresis;[25] it has also been shown to control kidney diuresis in dogs. The decline in water excretion following a decline in cortisol (dexamethasone) in dogs is probably due to inverse stimulation ofantidiuretic hormone (ADH or arginine vasopressin), which is not overridden by water loading.[30] Humans and other animals also use this mechanism.[31]
- Copper
Cortisol stimulates many copper enzymes (often to 50% of their total potential), probably to increase copper availability for immune purposes.[32]:337 This includes lysyl oxidase, an enzyme that cross-links collagen and elastin.[32]:334 Especially valuable for immune response is cortisol's stimulation of the superoxide dismutase,[33] since this copper enzyme is almost certainly used by the body to permit superoxides to poison bacteria. Cortisol causes an inverse four- or fivefold decrease of metallothionein (a copper storage protein) in mice;[34] however, rodents do not synthesize cortisol themselves. This may be to furnish more copper for ceruloplasmin synthesis or to release free copper. Cortisol has an opposite effect on aminoisobuteric acid than on the other amino acids.[35] If alpha-aminoisobuteric acid is used to transport copper through the cell wall, this anomaly might be explained.
- Immune system
Cortisol can weaken the activity of the immune system. Cortisol prevents proliferation of T-cells by rendering the interleukin-2 producerT-cells unresponsive to interleukin-1 (IL-1), and unable to produce the T-cell growth factor.[36] Cortisol also has a negative-feedback effect on interleukin-1.[37] IL-1 must be especially useful in combating some diseases; however, endotoxic bacteria have gained an advantage by forcing the hypothalamus to increase cortisol levels (forcing the secretion of CRH hormone, thus antagonizing IL-1). The suppressor cells are not affected by glucosteroid response-modifying factor (GRMF),[38] so the effective setpoint for the immune cells may be even higher than the setpoint for physiological processes (reflecting leukocyte redistribution to lymph nodes, bone marrow, andskin). Rapid administration of corticosterone (the endogenous Type I and Type II receptor agonist) or RU28362 (a specific Type II receptor agonist) to adrenalectomized animals induced changes in leukocyte distribution. Natural killer cells are not affected by cortisol.[39]
- Bone metabolism
Cortisol reduces bone formation, favoring long-term development of osteoporosis. It transports potassium out of cells in exchange for an equal number of sodium ions (see above).[28] This can trigger the hyperkalemia of metabolic shock from surgery. Cortisol also reducescalcium absorption in the intestine.[40]
- Memory
Cortisol works with epinephrine (adrenaline) to create memories of short-term emotional events; this is the proposed mechanism for storage of flash bulb memories, and may originate as a means to remember what to avoid in the future.[41] However, long-term exposure to cortisol damages cells in the hippocampus;[42] this damage results in impaired learning. Furthermore, it has been shown that cortisol inhibits memory retrieval of already stored information.[43][44]
- Additional effects
- Increases blood pressure by increasing the sensitivity of the vasculature to epinephrine and norepinephrine; in the absence of cortisol, widespread vasodilation occurs[41]
- Inhibits secretion of corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), resulting in feedback inhibition of ACTH (Adrenocorticotropic hormone or corticotropin) secretion. Some researchers believe that this normal feedback system may become dysregulated when animals are exposed to chronic stress[45]
- Shuts down the reproductive system, resulting in an increased chance of miscarriage and (in some cases) temporary infertility. Fertility returns after cortisol levels return to normal.[46]
- Has anti-inflammatory properties, reducing histamine secretion and stabilizing lysosomal membranes. Stabilization of lysosomal membranes prevents their rupture, preventing damage to healthy tissues[47]
- Stimulates hepatic detoxification by inducing tryptophan oxygenase (reducing serotonin levels in the brain), glutamine synthase (reducing glutamate and ammonia levels in the brain), cytochrome P-450 hemoprotein (mobilizing arachidonic acid), andmetallothionein (reducing heavy metals in the body)[48]
- In addition to cortisol's effects in binding to the glucocorticoid receptor, because of its molecular similarity to aldosterone it also binds to the mineralocorticoid receptor. Aldosterone and cortisol have a similar affinity for the mineralocorticoid receptor; however, glucocorticoids circulate at roughly 100 times the level of mineralocorticoids. An enzyme exists in mineralocorticoid target tissues to prevent overstimulation by glucocorticoids and allow selective mineralocorticoid action. This enzyme—11-beta hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase type II (Protein:HSD11B2)—catalyzes the deactivation of glucocorticoids to 11-dehydro metabolites[48]
- There are potential links between cortisol, appetite and obesity.[49] "
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Active Imagination
I have had a creative imagination as far back as I can remember, I would make up stories to put me to sleep at night. The problem was I could never get them out of my brain onto paper or tell about about them. I also have had some vivid dreams that were full of color, sounds and feelings. These two parts of our brain is the conscious and sub-conscious.
From different readings and such over the years, I have learned that the sub-conscious holds a lot of information that many times the conscious has no clue about. Some people have blanks in their past and then start having nightmares as the sub-conscious is trying hard to tell us things that if feels that it is time for us to know. A lot of times these things are not easy to live through again for that was why we have the blanks.
Though we might be afraid of what the sub-conscious knows, it is best if we open the door or damn and let the thoughts and feeling through for a number of reasons. We have prejudices and rules learned when we were young that do not fit to who we are or do not fit with any way of life. The thoughts and ideas from the sub-conscious can easily flood us and overwhelm us if not meeting it half way to help smooth the path of what it wants to tell us. It does not want to hurt us with nightmare and stormy feelings, but it just trying to tell you what is going on.
Some one of the ways that your sub-conscious tries to tell you what it wants you to remember is through dreams or odd behaviors that leave you wondering why you feel that way. Another way, and one I know very well even though I might not know is through the body. The last few weeks I have been biting the side of my tongue while sleeping. I am holding a lot of tension and clamping my jaw down, waking with a sore jaw and my tongue swollen. I have no idea why I am stressing at this time, but I will have to take time and listen to what my body has to say, what my sub-conscious is trying to say and since they do not talk to me using words, I will have to learn to 'listen' in a different way.
So how can we do this besides waiting for a dream that could be days or weeks away. In Elaine's workbook she talks about doing active imagination and writing down what is happening. You must proceed with caution if you are not in therapy or counselling because of the intense feelings or reactions you might have.
First you must find a quiet, safe place to sit where you will not be interrupted. I do meditation so it helps to relax and do deep breathing. When you are ready, you can invite you sub-conscious to speak. This can be done in many ways, with a left off dream, a feeling or image that wants to speak, or the inner child that we need to learn to take care of. Once your invited 'subject' had spoken, you can talk to it, ask questions whatever it takes you as long as it is 50/50 and you are not guiding it. If you start to wonder, bring your attention back to your invited subject. Write down what is being said and what is happening.
There might be resistance, but do not judge what it is or how ordinary it might be. In time it could have a lot more to say as you react to it as a real subject.
After you are finished with the active imagination, it is important that you follow through and do what your sub-conscious has shared with you. This is important for this is why you are having the aches and pains or stress. This is what needs to be done so that you can have balance . It could be something as simple as writing a litter or making the phone call or something a lot bigger. But ignoring it will only have your body screaming at you and your body suffer under stress. I should know, I am under stress now and will have to have a sit-down with my sub-conscious and have a talk and find out what it wants me to know.
From different readings and such over the years, I have learned that the sub-conscious holds a lot of information that many times the conscious has no clue about. Some people have blanks in their past and then start having nightmares as the sub-conscious is trying hard to tell us things that if feels that it is time for us to know. A lot of times these things are not easy to live through again for that was why we have the blanks.
Though we might be afraid of what the sub-conscious knows, it is best if we open the door or damn and let the thoughts and feeling through for a number of reasons. We have prejudices and rules learned when we were young that do not fit to who we are or do not fit with any way of life. The thoughts and ideas from the sub-conscious can easily flood us and overwhelm us if not meeting it half way to help smooth the path of what it wants to tell us. It does not want to hurt us with nightmare and stormy feelings, but it just trying to tell you what is going on.
Some one of the ways that your sub-conscious tries to tell you what it wants you to remember is through dreams or odd behaviors that leave you wondering why you feel that way. Another way, and one I know very well even though I might not know is through the body. The last few weeks I have been biting the side of my tongue while sleeping. I am holding a lot of tension and clamping my jaw down, waking with a sore jaw and my tongue swollen. I have no idea why I am stressing at this time, but I will have to take time and listen to what my body has to say, what my sub-conscious is trying to say and since they do not talk to me using words, I will have to learn to 'listen' in a different way.
So how can we do this besides waiting for a dream that could be days or weeks away. In Elaine's workbook she talks about doing active imagination and writing down what is happening. You must proceed with caution if you are not in therapy or counselling because of the intense feelings or reactions you might have.
First you must find a quiet, safe place to sit where you will not be interrupted. I do meditation so it helps to relax and do deep breathing. When you are ready, you can invite you sub-conscious to speak. This can be done in many ways, with a left off dream, a feeling or image that wants to speak, or the inner child that we need to learn to take care of. Once your invited 'subject' had spoken, you can talk to it, ask questions whatever it takes you as long as it is 50/50 and you are not guiding it. If you start to wonder, bring your attention back to your invited subject. Write down what is being said and what is happening.
There might be resistance, but do not judge what it is or how ordinary it might be. In time it could have a lot more to say as you react to it as a real subject.
After you are finished with the active imagination, it is important that you follow through and do what your sub-conscious has shared with you. This is important for this is why you are having the aches and pains or stress. This is what needs to be done so that you can have balance . It could be something as simple as writing a litter or making the phone call or something a lot bigger. But ignoring it will only have your body screaming at you and your body suffer under stress. I should know, I am under stress now and will have to have a sit-down with my sub-conscious and have a talk and find out what it wants me to know.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Self-Assessment to Discover Your Style of Sensitivity
In Elaine's workbook, on page 54-55 there is a yes and no questionnaire that you can do if you have the book. I had done the questionnaire and I am going to write my conclusion here.
The questions are about your curiosity, being an introvert or extrovert, shyness, and other differences. Together you have a summery of who you are.
My style of sensitivity is that I am comfortable in the middle of being a sensation seeker even though I am an introvert. I am prone to anxiety and depression due to a difficult school environment, but I also have many calmer times to.Though I seem shy, I am actually cautious. I am a morning person, but if it is not calm it could effect me as late and evening. This could also lead to trouble sleeping.
I have learned a lot about myself and with that I can look at my past differently and that helps with looking or living my present life differently, understanding who I am and how I will react or steer that reaction in a different direction.
The questions are about your curiosity, being an introvert or extrovert, shyness, and other differences. Together you have a summery of who you are.
My style of sensitivity is that I am comfortable in the middle of being a sensation seeker even though I am an introvert. I am prone to anxiety and depression due to a difficult school environment, but I also have many calmer times to.Though I seem shy, I am actually cautious. I am a morning person, but if it is not calm it could effect me as late and evening. This could also lead to trouble sleeping.
I have learned a lot about myself and with that I can look at my past differently and that helps with looking or living my present life differently, understanding who I am and how I will react or steer that reaction in a different direction.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Chapter 2 Going Deeper Mind Story
We are all unique and we are needing in this world even though we might not be seen as valuable. We think deeply before we take action and we would be the first to sense danger. But we are usually quiet and inverted. It is time to let people know how we think, what goes on in our heads by writing an adventure story that shows what our body and mind is like.
Cast
Brennan Nersy
Bray Harue
Ember Bonner
Mya
Cast
Brennan - left brain Nersy - nervous systom
Bray - right brain Harue - heart
Ember - emotions Bonner - body
Mya - muscles
Cast
Brennan Nersy
Bray Harue
Ember Bonner
Mya
The Escape
Brennan stood up, when the last person
arrived to the daily morning huddle. Today he planned to make sure everyone
understood what needed to be done. Each had a job to do if they were going to
get out of this alive.
Looking over to Ember, Brennan knew she
looked like the weakest of them all, but she was the most important to make all
this work out. He knew he would have to be tough with her to get her going.
He knew Ember could feel him looking at her
but she refused to look up. Her eyes, with tears rolling down cheeks, stared
down at her hands as the index finger continued to make circles over her thumb
of her right hand.
Nersy, her husband
paced back and forth behind her, not stepping more than a few feet out of her
reach just in case she needed him. Brennan knew that Nersy would be angry at
him once he realizes how much pain his wife will be in when things start
moving.
Bonner slipped lower in
his seat as his shoulders curled in to try to make him look smaller. Only a
select few saw the pain he was in, though Brennan didn't think that even Bonner
himself knew how much pain he was in. It was as if speaking of the pain was bad
luck. He, himself, did not believe is such a thing, but he kept quiet just the
same. Beside Bonner was Mya who was just as silent with her pain as her
husband. She clung onto his hand with fear she would have to let go.
Brennan's eyes found
Harue. He could see how unsure she was with having this meeting; by the way she
looked at each one of them, wanting to make things better. He knew that once
she made her mind up on something, everyone else would follow. Brennan wished
he could take her into his arms and take her pain away. He was one of the few
who knew just how strong she was. He loved her strength, her smile, her laugh.
It might be a long time before he would hear her laugh again.
Taking a deep breath,
he tore his eyes from the woman he loved. There was no reason to put this off any
longer.
''We are going to do
this now, no thinking, no turning back, and no second thought.'' They were not
the words Bray had planned to say, but with one glance at his twin brother, he
realized he took the words right out of Brennan's mouth.
''No, no, we cannot do
this now.'' Nersy said as he stopped pacing and stood behind his wife. Ember
reached up for his hand, looking for strength.
''Nersy, I can't do
this, I am not ready yet.'' Ember said in a small voice.
Bray stepped behind his
wife and gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. Harue reached out and took
Ember's arm and rubbed it.
''We are doing this
together; no one is being left behind.'' Bray heard in Bonner’s voice that
he too was with them now. Bray felt the tension leave his body as each one of
this little group decided that he was right. They all had to leave together and
they all had to agree to do this.
There was many times
where Bray and his brother would disagree. Brennan would want Bray to be less
emotional and be strong; stand up and fight for what they believe. Bray wanted
his brother to see that the others needed to be taken care off and not ignored
all the time. They needed time to adjust to change and not just jump into
things without much thought.
Brennan took his eyes
away from his brother's wife.
''There is no time to
talk about this any more. We leave now!'' Brennan knew he might have been a
little harsh but they needed to get going. He headed out, not bothering to see
if anyone was following.
No one said a word as
each helped each other out of the seats and started following Brennan. Nersy
took Ember's hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. He never let go of her
hand as they followed the others. Mya and Bonner were in each other’s arms as
they pasted Bray at the door. Bray took the end of the group, as he watched his
wife turn to Ember. He knew she was whispering encouragement as they walked
away. No one looked back.
Brennan - left brain Nersy - nervous systom
Bray - right brain Harue - heart
Ember - emotions Bonner - body
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Your Role as an Advisor
From all I have read about being HSP there are really only two ruling classes, the warrior kings and the priestly advisors. Many of the advisors are HSP and are jobs such as teachers, counselors, healers, writers and artists.
So lets make two lists, one of ways or roles that you do as an advisor and a list of the trait as a HSP that you have that helps you be in that role.
WAY/ROLES TRAITS
Cooking class teacher * heightened awareness of subtleties in my environment,
Writing - sight, sound, touch, taste, smell.
Mother *become stressed and upset when overwhelmed so I like to
Admin. Assist. at a Community Centre keep my home calm so that people can find solitude, relief, and
Furniture assembly comfort.
Pet Owner *be conscientious and hard working,
Making Jewelry for my own Business *have a deep respect and appreciation of nature, music, art.
*try to organize things and thoughts
*enjoy simplicity and find I become overwhelmed by chaos,
clutter, or stress.
*find comfort and well being around a lake, river,
stream, the ocean, or even a fountain.
*aware of and affected by other people's moods, emotions, and
problems.
*have a deep inner life, have vivid dreams.
What don't You like about Yourself
I am not going to sit here and list what I don't like about myself, but it is important to do and I do have a small list in my book. The idea is not a self-loathing, but to list issues that might be a problem. Do not list what people have said such as fat or babyish, but to state things such as "I seam to be slow at ..."
Then, out of Eleine Aron's Workbook do pages 33-37
1. Identify specific behavior
2. Rating of importance
3. Your reaction at this point
4. Observations about your self- criticism
5. Light of your sensitivity
6. A new way of approaching it
7. What else from your past contributes to this behavior?
8. Rate now
9. Any changes in how you feel about this aspect of yourself?
So lets make two lists, one of ways or roles that you do as an advisor and a list of the trait as a HSP that you have that helps you be in that role.
WAY/ROLES TRAITS
Cooking class teacher * heightened awareness of subtleties in my environment,
Writing - sight, sound, touch, taste, smell.
Mother *become stressed and upset when overwhelmed so I like to
Admin. Assist. at a Community Centre keep my home calm so that people can find solitude, relief, and
Furniture assembly comfort.
Pet Owner *be conscientious and hard working,
Making Jewelry for my own Business *have a deep respect and appreciation of nature, music, art.
*try to organize things and thoughts
*enjoy simplicity and find I become overwhelmed by chaos,
clutter, or stress.
*find comfort and well being around a lake, river,
stream, the ocean, or even a fountain.
*aware of and affected by other people's moods, emotions, and
problems.
*have a deep inner life, have vivid dreams.
What don't You like about Yourself
I am not going to sit here and list what I don't like about myself, but it is important to do and I do have a small list in my book. The idea is not a self-loathing, but to list issues that might be a problem. Do not list what people have said such as fat or babyish, but to state things such as "I seam to be slow at ..."
Then, out of Eleine Aron's Workbook do pages 33-37
1. Identify specific behavior
2. Rating of importance
3. Your reaction at this point
4. Observations about your self- criticism
5. Light of your sensitivity
6. A new way of approaching it
7. What else from your past contributes to this behavior?
8. Rate now
9. Any changes in how you feel about this aspect of yourself?
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Reframing Your Past
I will be reframing a small part of my past, a change that had happened. Change is hard on people who are HSP. It does not mean we do not like change or that we think change is a bad thing. We do need more time to get use to the change, to take in all the information and sort out our feelings. We take out time to get use to the idea of what the changes are.
Unfortunately others sees us as resistant to change, afraid, unwilling. But this only add to the overwhelming feelings we have to deal with as and after the change. I was able to adjust quite easily with change for I was raised in the military and had to move about some. I really do not remember moving as being any more stressful as it was part of normal part of life.
The Life Event:
I was working in the back at work, receiving the truck with the other, which means we were unpacking boxes and sorting all the merchandise. I had to make a decisions on what I was going to do. Did I want to stay in the city with this same job, or move back to Cambridge? Did I keep this job or do I look for a full time job? I could move away completely and give up any friends or connections I had in the city, including the employment center that could help me find a better job. I would have to get involved with social assistants and low income living. Chances where that Social assistance would want me to try to get child support. I was loving at a shelter and knew I had to make a decision soon and sort out my life. A very close friend said that I could move in with him to so I had to think about that to.
I was very upset with my ex who had called me that morning. I was upset with the manager who was doing everything she could to get me to leave my job. I was in pain and stressed out so much that I didn't know which way I was going. I was crying and I knew everyone was wondering what was wrong. I went to the office and told them that I was leaving, leaving the job, leaving the city.
The only bad feelings I have about that day was the manager was not helpful in any way. She wanted me gone and she got her way. She was not supportive and wanted me to go beyond what a person can do. I felt forced to keep a job that was not a good fit and added to the stress.
What I know now is that I was overwhelmed with all the changes that was happening all at once. I was doing too much, too fast. Even though I was trying hard to keep the job, the job was not the right fit for me or for who I am. The overwhelming stress and pressure is not good for my health. The push I was getting from the manager and my ex was causing more stress and caused part of the emotional breakdown. I should have taking time away from work to sort things out and should not have talked to my ex at all. But I feel that the decision I made at the end is still the right one.
If I had known more about the HSP before that day, I would have looked for someone I could talk to about what to do about my job. I would have either looked for a better fitting job or found a way to make the manager understand that her pushing was causing a lot of stress.
I am a highly sensitive person and now realized that I need to make people understand that there are some things that I am not comfortable being forced to do. I force myself to work harder and cause stress to myself to. I need to be easier on me and my sensitivity. I am not weak, but am harder on myself than anyone else.
Summary of Reframing from page 29 of workbok..
1. Recall how you responded to the event.
2. Recall how you have tended to feel about that response.
3. Consider your response in the light of what you know about your trait.
4. Think about whether the negative parts of the event might have been avoiding or would have gone differently if you or others had known you were HSP and had made adjustment for that.
5. If this knowledge would have prevented your suffering or wasting a portion of your life, taking time to feel whatever you feel about that.
6. Write down your new understanding of the event and read it over often until you have absorbed the full meaning of it.
Unfortunately others sees us as resistant to change, afraid, unwilling. But this only add to the overwhelming feelings we have to deal with as and after the change. I was able to adjust quite easily with change for I was raised in the military and had to move about some. I really do not remember moving as being any more stressful as it was part of normal part of life.
The Life Event:
I was working in the back at work, receiving the truck with the other, which means we were unpacking boxes and sorting all the merchandise. I had to make a decisions on what I was going to do. Did I want to stay in the city with this same job, or move back to Cambridge? Did I keep this job or do I look for a full time job? I could move away completely and give up any friends or connections I had in the city, including the employment center that could help me find a better job. I would have to get involved with social assistants and low income living. Chances where that Social assistance would want me to try to get child support. I was loving at a shelter and knew I had to make a decision soon and sort out my life. A very close friend said that I could move in with him to so I had to think about that to.
I was very upset with my ex who had called me that morning. I was upset with the manager who was doing everything she could to get me to leave my job. I was in pain and stressed out so much that I didn't know which way I was going. I was crying and I knew everyone was wondering what was wrong. I went to the office and told them that I was leaving, leaving the job, leaving the city.
The only bad feelings I have about that day was the manager was not helpful in any way. She wanted me gone and she got her way. She was not supportive and wanted me to go beyond what a person can do. I felt forced to keep a job that was not a good fit and added to the stress.
What I know now is that I was overwhelmed with all the changes that was happening all at once. I was doing too much, too fast. Even though I was trying hard to keep the job, the job was not the right fit for me or for who I am. The overwhelming stress and pressure is not good for my health. The push I was getting from the manager and my ex was causing more stress and caused part of the emotional breakdown. I should have taking time away from work to sort things out and should not have talked to my ex at all. But I feel that the decision I made at the end is still the right one.
If I had known more about the HSP before that day, I would have looked for someone I could talk to about what to do about my job. I would have either looked for a better fitting job or found a way to make the manager understand that her pushing was causing a lot of stress.
I am a highly sensitive person and now realized that I need to make people understand that there are some things that I am not comfortable being forced to do. I force myself to work harder and cause stress to myself to. I need to be easier on me and my sensitivity. I am not weak, but am harder on myself than anyone else.
Summary of Reframing from page 29 of workbok..
1. Recall how you responded to the event.
2. Recall how you have tended to feel about that response.
3. Consider your response in the light of what you know about your trait.
4. Think about whether the negative parts of the event might have been avoiding or would have gone differently if you or others had known you were HSP and had made adjustment for that.
5. If this knowledge would have prevented your suffering or wasting a portion of your life, taking time to feel whatever you feel about that.
6. Write down your new understanding of the event and read it over often until you have absorbed the full meaning of it.
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