This past year I have tried to be me.
I have lost myself so many times over the years, trying to be what I thought "they" wanted me to be and failing on so many levels. I am going to continue to try doing things my way. This had not worked out for the business I tried to have, but I need to do things my way for my mental health.
A few of years ago I learned that I am an highly sensitive person. Not that I didn't know that I was sensitive. I knew, but I did not understand what it really meant. I did not connect the fact that I cried easily to the other sensors being sensitive to. I find that the sun is too bright, I have my screens of my different gadgets with the brightness turned down or even off. Perfumes, smokers, and the smell of bleach are some of the worst smells. I can do aromatherapy, as long as it is not too strong. The list goes on: but it is more than just my feeling being sensitive.
The last few months I have been working at accepting who I am and how to live with having a sensory processing sensitivity. I have had another set back and need to readjust my life again. I want to share all this with you. Mental Health is very important and I feel I lost a lot of years not knowing how to live with this.
I have lost myself so many times over the years, trying to be what I thought "they" wanted me to be and failing on so many levels. I am going to continue to try doing things my way. This had not worked out for the business I tried to have, but I need to do things my way for my mental health.
A few of years ago I learned that I am an highly sensitive person. Not that I didn't know that I was sensitive. I knew, but I did not understand what it really meant. I did not connect the fact that I cried easily to the other sensors being sensitive to. I find that the sun is too bright, I have my screens of my different gadgets with the brightness turned down or even off. Perfumes, smokers, and the smell of bleach are some of the worst smells. I can do aromatherapy, as long as it is not too strong. The list goes on: but it is more than just my feeling being sensitive.
The last few months I have been working at accepting who I am and how to live with having a sensory processing sensitivity. I have had another set back and need to readjust my life again. I want to share all this with you. Mental Health is very important and I feel I lost a lot of years not knowing how to live with this.
This is not anyone's fault. No one knew about people being highly sensitive until Elaine N. Aron's book, "The Highly Sensitive
Person, How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You" come out in 1996. Even now many people do not know or do not believe that this is a trait that about 15% to 20% of people are born with.
It was a few years ago when I was at about the worst part in my life with crying and emotional ups and downs I Googled, asking why I was crying all the time. This was when Elaine's site came up. I got the book and started reading it. It was not until the relationship ended and I started a new life when I was able to really work on learning what I was and how to live with it.
I didn't realize how close to death I was. I want people to realize that you have to be yourself and that you need to do whatever it take to be happy. I left the relationship, my job and city to find what I have now. No, not everything is perfect. I still have stress, money issues and anxiety but at least I am not a tight ball of pain and illness.
A few months ago I realized that I was going right back to the old me. I was stressing out because I was not achieving what others were telling me I should be doing. I was working longs hours, worrying that I was failing again.
I picked up the book I listed above again and I am rereading it. I am working at not working so many hours and spending time with my family. I need to learn to do things that will keep me health. I am still finding out what I enjoy, my likes and dislikes. I am with someone who loves me and respects me and I love him.
I didn't realize how close to death I was. I want people to realize that you have to be yourself and that you need to do whatever it take to be happy. I left the relationship, my job and city to find what I have now. No, not everything is perfect. I still have stress, money issues and anxiety but at least I am not a tight ball of pain and illness.
A few months ago I realized that I was going right back to the old me. I was stressing out because I was not achieving what others were telling me I should be doing. I was working longs hours, worrying that I was failing again.
I picked up the book I listed above again and I am rereading it. I am working at not working so many hours and spending time with my family. I need to learn to do things that will keep me health. I am still finding out what I enjoy, my likes and dislikes. I am with someone who loves me and respects me and I love him.
The other day I has another meltdown. The next day I saw a psychologist. He said I was fine. He said that he didn't think I needed to be on my meds. He saw that I was working with a workbook to learn how to live with being highly sensitive.
When people see me, they do not understand what I am living with in my head, that even though I look 'normal' I think and process information around me differently.
Some days I am an emotional wreck. I have good days and bad, I cry at movies and even commercials, I cry when I am sad, happy, frustrated, angry, even when I don't know why.
I want to share with you the struggle of a person who in not disable, not mentally ill but is still struggling with emotions.
Some days I am an emotional wreck. I have good days and bad, I cry at movies and even commercials, I cry when I am sad, happy, frustrated, angry, even when I don't know why.
I want to share with you the struggle of a person who in not disable, not mentally ill but is still struggling with emotions.
These are the books I am working with and I think them for the help I have had so far.
The
Highly Sensitive Person
by Elaine N. Aron
The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook
by Elaine N. Aron
by Elaine N. Aron
The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guideby Ted Zeff
The Highly Sensitive Person's Companion
by Ted Zeff
by Ted Zeff
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