Homework for the Effective Writer course
I writing for a number of reasons even though I may not be good at it. Because of my learning disability, when I was in grade school, I was not able to write the words dancing around in my head. I was a very quiet girl who sat in the corner of a class room and kept all my thoughts to myself. My mother tried to get me to use the computer, but I fought her. Computers where not a household thing at the time and I had no idea how much it would have changed my life. It was not until I was on my own with my two small children that I really started writing. At first it was poems and short stories. I even wrote a children's book called, "Christine's Ducks." I found that the words I could not speak would flow down my arms, though my fingers, and were typed out across the screen.The words were not my own, but from a much deeper voice in my head that was only heard through my writing or dreams; my inner child who was so quiet. I enjoy seeing the unspeakable words, come alive on the screen. The child who could not speak was now writing the stories and feelings that swirled so deeply in my mind. I soon found a site where many writers gathered each year to write 50000 words in 30 days. The rush and feeling of pride I felt each time I would beat that time frame gave me some of the positive awards that I needed in my life. I was never wanting to be known to write only one genre of writing. Though I do have a story that has been said I stack bodies like cords of wood and I have been stuck writing only fantasy for the last few years with a bit of what I call hack and slash, I do write romance and have put together a mini comic book. This year I am planning to write a ghost story.The voices (characters) have been talking to me so that their story can be heard. As you have read, even though I might have problems with the grammar part of writing, I write to bring out my inner child so the stories that are deep inside can get out.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Writing Activity
Underlining the Subjects of my sentences.
1. The cat ate the snack.
2. The sun shone through the window.
3. The birds sang and flew around the cage.
4. The cat watched the birds.
5. The birds squawked at the cat.
1. She ate the snacks.
2. She shone through the window.
Action verbs
1. The cat licked the snack.
2. The birds hopped around the cadge.
3. The cat spied the birds.
1. The cat ate the snack.
2. The sun shone through the window.
3. The birds sang and flew around the cage.
4. The cat watched the birds.
5. The birds squawked at the cat.
1. She ate the snacks.
2. She shone through the window.
Action verbs
1. The cat licked the snack.
2. The birds hopped around the cadge.
3. The cat spied the birds.
Monday, September 30, 2013
What Grade is This?
So I have been taking some courses and I should have been putting some of my stuff on here, but for the last two months I have not been feeling all that great. I have been working on the self-esteem thing and really didn't find them all the helpful. So I just let my depression take over until I had a meltdown and started looking for help. This time I am going to get all my thoughts and feeling out.
I have decided that the best thing for me to do is get right back to writing but I want to do a whole bunch of courses before I get right down and write again. With my learning disabilities I realize that will never be as poetic as any or the master and I will be lucky if I will get a publisher to pay for anything I write, but I do have some things to say and if I have to give away the first few things, then so be it. But I will learn what I can and I am taking courses that should improve my writing and broaden what I can write about. I am learning quiet a bit.
One of the courses I am taking is Crafting an Effective Writer. The first week was just an introduction to on line learning and all the stuff on being a good student, like the first day of school. This week we are going into the school work. And I am learning all about nouns and pronouns and adjectives. They want to to have a journal to write in so that I can go back and study. They seam to think on line journaling is good and since I had this site started before I thought, what the heck, I will do my school work here. So here I go:
Ten Nouns: Verbs:
cat cries
Kit Kat sleeps
chair falls
doll sits
desk broke
drink warmed
teapot cooled
Smokey meows
box fell
rug flips
Ten Adjectives adverbs:
young loudly
fluffy sofly
wooden quickly
old slowly
broken briskly
hot friendly
small angerly
dirty lightly
soft very
wet
I will be adding the writing assignments to and maybe lessons from other classes I am taking.
I have decided that the best thing for me to do is get right back to writing but I want to do a whole bunch of courses before I get right down and write again. With my learning disabilities I realize that will never be as poetic as any or the master and I will be lucky if I will get a publisher to pay for anything I write, but I do have some things to say and if I have to give away the first few things, then so be it. But I will learn what I can and I am taking courses that should improve my writing and broaden what I can write about. I am learning quiet a bit.
One of the courses I am taking is Crafting an Effective Writer. The first week was just an introduction to on line learning and all the stuff on being a good student, like the first day of school. This week we are going into the school work. And I am learning all about nouns and pronouns and adjectives. They want to to have a journal to write in so that I can go back and study. They seam to think on line journaling is good and since I had this site started before I thought, what the heck, I will do my school work here. So here I go:
Ten Nouns: Verbs:
cat cries
Kit Kat sleeps
chair falls
doll sits
desk broke
drink warmed
teapot cooled
Smokey meows
box fell
rug flips
Ten Adjectives adverbs:
young loudly
fluffy sofly
wooden quickly
old slowly
broken briskly
hot friendly
small angerly
dirty lightly
soft very
wet
I will be adding the writing assignments to and maybe lessons from other classes I am taking.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Not 'Feel the Fear' but Social Psychology
I was going to start working on the "Feel the Fear" books after taking the day off on Sunday, but I got an email from a course I am taking in what I thought was two weeks saying that I could start it now so I did. At this time I am about over half of the videos watched and some reading done. There are many that looks like they are done. I love school and this course is going to be hard for me. But that does not mean I will not enjoy it. Oh and by the way, it is Social Psychology. I want to be in the 90s so that I get the chance to go to Stafford University and meet the Dali Lama. That would be sooooo cool.
So all morning when I usually read emails and Facebook and do my blogging I was sitting in class (at home starting at the computer) watching my lectures and doing quizzes. I copied my reading assignment onto my Kobo so that I could read it when I had to make a trip out this afternoon. Now I have to get back and finish all the lectures so I can start doing my assignment.
Ok so I will have almost three weeks to do it in but I have been one that likes to get things done right away or else I will wait until the last minute. Being only the first week, I am already learning so much about the way we see and think about things. As I take this course, I have to remember that being HSP I do think different, because of my LD I learn different and I might come out with different ideas and answers because of these. Maybe as I do this you will see a change in my thinking to, who knows.
So my plan is to share with you my assignments and my thoughts as I take this class and maybe add some of the book I was going to share with you, depending on how hard this class will be. From what I see it is not going to be a walk in the park, that is for sure.
So all morning when I usually read emails and Facebook and do my blogging I was sitting in class (at home starting at the computer) watching my lectures and doing quizzes. I copied my reading assignment onto my Kobo so that I could read it when I had to make a trip out this afternoon. Now I have to get back and finish all the lectures so I can start doing my assignment.
Ok so I will have almost three weeks to do it in but I have been one that likes to get things done right away or else I will wait until the last minute. Being only the first week, I am already learning so much about the way we see and think about things. As I take this course, I have to remember that being HSP I do think different, because of my LD I learn different and I might come out with different ideas and answers because of these. Maybe as I do this you will see a change in my thinking to, who knows.
So my plan is to share with you my assignments and my thoughts as I take this class and maybe add some of the book I was going to share with you, depending on how hard this class will be. From what I see it is not going to be a walk in the park, that is for sure.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Feel the Fear
Only a couple of days ago I ordered a book though a gift card I got and it got here in a matter of a few days. Yet a letter that was coming from Cambridge is not. Makes you wonder...
Anyways once I opened the book I realized I needed the other book to go with it. At least that one I could get through my Kobo Arc. SO I am starting a new workbook that I will be putting my answers here. And since I have so few people reading it I should not have any problems with people not liking it. These books are not about Highly Sensitive, but I think they will still help many who also have fears that they have to deal with.
The books are "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway." and "Fear The Fear.. And Beyond" both are by Susan Jeffers. There books were pointed out by my Sister-in-common-law. She was reading them and thought I could use it so I got them and will be doing the exercises here to share with those who might like to follow along.
The first one:
The fears the run my life are...
the fear that people do not like me (mostly close friends and family of those close to me)
the fear that I will mess up
the fear that I will do something that will make those who I love angry at me
the fear that I would fail again
the fear that I will be emotional in public
the fear that I am not smart enough, good enough
the fear that I will never be the real me
Ok that is a start and they are very deep to me so I hope you will not hold them against me.
Anyways once I opened the book I realized I needed the other book to go with it. At least that one I could get through my Kobo Arc. SO I am starting a new workbook that I will be putting my answers here. And since I have so few people reading it I should not have any problems with people not liking it. These books are not about Highly Sensitive, but I think they will still help many who also have fears that they have to deal with.
The books are "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway." and "Fear The Fear.. And Beyond" both are by Susan Jeffers. There books were pointed out by my Sister-in-common-law. She was reading them and thought I could use it so I got them and will be doing the exercises here to share with those who might like to follow along.
The first one:
The fears the run my life are...
the fear that people do not like me (mostly close friends and family of those close to me)
the fear that I will mess up
the fear that I will do something that will make those who I love angry at me
the fear that I would fail again
the fear that I will be emotional in public
the fear that I am not smart enough, good enough
the fear that I will never be the real me
Ok that is a start and they are very deep to me so I hope you will not hold them against me.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Returning to What You Dislike
Look at the list you made at the beginning, p. 33 of Elaine's workbook. We are going to go back to the list of things you didn't like about yourself. How do you feel about them now?
Write about how you see these dislikes of yours differently after working through the workbook. Do you accept your trait and understand who you are>
If you have made clear changes, accepted your trait, you are done. You have accepted who you are and happy being who you are. Congratulations it is time to celebrate.
After working through most of the workbook, I have not skipped too much, what I have not put up here I have done in my notebook. So why am I closing the book, well, for now I am done thought I might go back to it another time. I feel I have done all I can on this and I have other books that I would like to work with.
I feel I have grown and understand myself better from doing this workbook. I am stronger and I want to share with other what I have learned. I want to share with others that there are people like us in the world. I AM HSP, HEAR ME ROWER!
Write about how you see these dislikes of yours differently after working through the workbook. Do you accept your trait and understand who you are>
If you have made clear changes, accepted your trait, you are done. You have accepted who you are and happy being who you are. Congratulations it is time to celebrate.
After working through most of the workbook, I have not skipped too much, what I have not put up here I have done in my notebook. So why am I closing the book, well, for now I am done thought I might go back to it another time. I feel I have done all I can on this and I have other books that I would like to work with.
I feel I have grown and understand myself better from doing this workbook. I am stronger and I want to share with other what I have learned. I want to share with others that there are people like us in the world. I AM HSP, HEAR ME ROWER!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Medical care and Medication
Elaine's workbook said that "less than 10 percent of medical doctors are HSP and at least 45 percent of office visits are made by HSP" page, 213. Most of the trips I made has been because of stress related issues but have been called everything from Bipolar to anxiety. At the time I had no idea that my sensitivity was more part to what I was going through and I have been put on different medications I was not sure I really needed even thought I had these labels.
I found myself overwhelmed with these labels and medications and they did not seam to help. Oh the last one did help clear the head a bit, but just about anything would when you were in tears every day because of the events that were happening on a daily bases. I was not depressed, it was not a chemical thing when someone is saying nasty things every day. They were not me thinking of the past of what was said, they were being said daily.
He wanted me to go on medication in hope that it would control my feelings but it only calmed my mind enough to realize that I needed to leave. No one should even be treated the way I was letting myself being treated.
Now I am fighting to get off the medication I have been on for two years. While I was on it I thought it was helping. I was not as emotional as much but I was still having anxiety. As I was reading about being HSP and realized that the medication was not really doing anything. I was not really going through anxiety. I need to learn the differences of being anxious or being overwhelmed. My moods are doing great for I am not in a bad situation and my life is much more relaxed. I have been the one that was doing all the work.
Now it is about getting off the medication and to make sure that people listen to me. I am HSP, not Bipolar or depressed or anxious. No medication that helps with the chemical imbalance is going to help something that I am born with and is the sensitivity of my nervous system.
So I am continue to learn to stay healthier without the medication I am fighting to get out of my body now. I am using gentler treatments that will help me such as doing mediation every morning. This gives me a calmer start in my morning so I am not just jumping up and starting my day on a run. I have never smoked or done street drugs, though what I have gone through getting off the legal drug has not been fun, I hardly drink and love the mock drinks better. I cooking most of my foods from scratch so my body is not leaded down with crap.
Now it is learning how to talk to the doctor about it so that I never have to be put on the medication any more. I need to learn how to explain that I am healthy and the emotions I show are who I am, not some chemical imbalance. I am fine, I am healthy and for the first time in more years then I can think of I am happy.
I found myself overwhelmed with these labels and medications and they did not seam to help. Oh the last one did help clear the head a bit, but just about anything would when you were in tears every day because of the events that were happening on a daily bases. I was not depressed, it was not a chemical thing when someone is saying nasty things every day. They were not me thinking of the past of what was said, they were being said daily.
He wanted me to go on medication in hope that it would control my feelings but it only calmed my mind enough to realize that I needed to leave. No one should even be treated the way I was letting myself being treated.
Now I am fighting to get off the medication I have been on for two years. While I was on it I thought it was helping. I was not as emotional as much but I was still having anxiety. As I was reading about being HSP and realized that the medication was not really doing anything. I was not really going through anxiety. I need to learn the differences of being anxious or being overwhelmed. My moods are doing great for I am not in a bad situation and my life is much more relaxed. I have been the one that was doing all the work.
Now it is about getting off the medication and to make sure that people listen to me. I am HSP, not Bipolar or depressed or anxious. No medication that helps with the chemical imbalance is going to help something that I am born with and is the sensitivity of my nervous system.
So I am continue to learn to stay healthier without the medication I am fighting to get out of my body now. I am using gentler treatments that will help me such as doing mediation every morning. This gives me a calmer start in my morning so I am not just jumping up and starting my day on a run. I have never smoked or done street drugs, though what I have gone through getting off the legal drug has not been fun, I hardly drink and love the mock drinks better. I cooking most of my foods from scratch so my body is not leaded down with crap.
Now it is learning how to talk to the doctor about it so that I never have to be put on the medication any more. I need to learn how to explain that I am healthy and the emotions I show are who I am, not some chemical imbalance. I am fine, I am healthy and for the first time in more years then I can think of I am happy.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Telling the Story
When you have deep wounds it is best to write the story, not blaming anyone but just write what had happened. You need to stop feeling the hurt that is keeping you from moving on. People might not want to hear what you have to say. They may think that you are going on and on about it, but by talking about it or writing about it helps heal the pain. You are not a hero by keeping it all in. I should know, I have been keeping things in all my life. But then I started writing, it might have been fiction, but the pain that was in the stories are very real. By writing that gave me the courage to talk about it.
I now talk about it, but it has slowed down because my life now is a lot less painful. Because I have looked at the different traumas and wrote about it in my words I was able to move on. I am now with someone who does not have the bad traits I had found myself being with in the past. I have learned from looking at what had happened and working with this workbook. Letting go is not easy, but it is important to move on.
I now talk about it, but it has slowed down because my life now is a lot less painful. Because I have looked at the different traumas and wrote about it in my words I was able to move on. I am now with someone who does not have the bad traits I had found myself being with in the past. I have learned from looking at what had happened and working with this workbook. Letting go is not easy, but it is important to move on.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Reframing a Moment in your Relationship
This one will be the hardest and those who know me might not want to see what I was feeling or what I thought. I am sure if some of them read this I will be told that I am wrong or that I should not say anything. But these are my feeling and I think about it. I have to deal with them this way so that I can not make the same mistakes again.
The relationship I am reframing is one of the ones that I feel had done the worst damage. By doing so it will take care of the others also.
1. Anger, depression, frustration, anxiety, overwhelmed, lack of trust, pushed. Him angry at me. His calling me bitch when he was drunk and five minutes later wanting to get into bed with me and have sex like the rest didn't happen. Him loading me down with all his issues but not allowing me time to speak about anything I might think or feel. Him telling me that he had done things I had said no about, days after it happened. "Asking for forgiveness was easier than asking for permission."
2. I feel like I wasted five years being with him. I feel guilt for the harm that I caused all the children let alone myself. I am hurt that his children will have nothing to do with me after all the love I gave them. I am angry at myself for falling for his charm and staying as long as I did when I knew I had to leave. I am upset that I have let this anger stay inside me.
3. Because of the HSP's I tend to be motherly and I thought I could be a mother to his kids. Thinking that I could do this, I put my own hurt a side to be a mother to them, thinking love will heal all. I also though I deserved the bad relationship because I thought I had messed up my life so bad, not being able to keep a job or a relationship. Even when I learned that I was an HSP, it took over a year to leave because being in a bad relationship was safer then not knowing where I was going.
4. In, I think, more of my relationships, if I had known I was an HSP it might have either explained many things and would have made them last longer or ended quicker with less pain. With the last relationship if I had known about the HSP I would not have gotten into the relationship because I would have known that he was a drain on my emotions and my health. I would have seen that he really didn't care about my health or my feelings.
5. Letting my feel my emotions.
6. If I had known about the HSP then the relationship would not have happened. I would understand that most of my feelings were coming off of him and that there was no way I would have made him happy or would have been happy with him. I would not have gotten on the meds which I found out do not help for my emotions are my trait not a chemical imbalance. He is a narcissist and he is not willing to love me or anyone else that does not cater to him and him alone. The relationship was toxic and the end of it was not my fault but a necessity to my safety and well being.
The relationship I am reframing is one of the ones that I feel had done the worst damage. By doing so it will take care of the others also.
1. Anger, depression, frustration, anxiety, overwhelmed, lack of trust, pushed. Him angry at me. His calling me bitch when he was drunk and five minutes later wanting to get into bed with me and have sex like the rest didn't happen. Him loading me down with all his issues but not allowing me time to speak about anything I might think or feel. Him telling me that he had done things I had said no about, days after it happened. "Asking for forgiveness was easier than asking for permission."
2. I feel like I wasted five years being with him. I feel guilt for the harm that I caused all the children let alone myself. I am hurt that his children will have nothing to do with me after all the love I gave them. I am angry at myself for falling for his charm and staying as long as I did when I knew I had to leave. I am upset that I have let this anger stay inside me.
3. Because of the HSP's I tend to be motherly and I thought I could be a mother to his kids. Thinking that I could do this, I put my own hurt a side to be a mother to them, thinking love will heal all. I also though I deserved the bad relationship because I thought I had messed up my life so bad, not being able to keep a job or a relationship. Even when I learned that I was an HSP, it took over a year to leave because being in a bad relationship was safer then not knowing where I was going.
4. In, I think, more of my relationships, if I had known I was an HSP it might have either explained many things and would have made them last longer or ended quicker with less pain. With the last relationship if I had known about the HSP I would not have gotten into the relationship because I would have known that he was a drain on my emotions and my health. I would have seen that he really didn't care about my health or my feelings.
5. Letting my feel my emotions.
6. If I had known about the HSP then the relationship would not have happened. I would understand that most of my feelings were coming off of him and that there was no way I would have made him happy or would have been happy with him. I would not have gotten on the meds which I found out do not help for my emotions are my trait not a chemical imbalance. He is a narcissist and he is not willing to love me or anyone else that does not cater to him and him alone. The relationship was toxic and the end of it was not my fault but a necessity to my safety and well being.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Chapter 7: Close Relationships
Having relationships is part of life, whether it is just friends or a more closer relationship. As a HSP in a non-HSP world, it is hard not to have to have contact with non-HSP. But what is better for a closer relationship?
I never knew any of this until the last year so all my relationships were without the thought about my HSP. I think this has made things harder. I did not understand that I had pushed myself so hard to be like a non-HSP. This does not work out at all. You need to know yourself, you know that saying, love yourself before loving others. I was never good at that.
I know see that you need to know and love yourself as an HSP so that you know what your limits are and how you can blend in with others whether they are HSP's or non. My children are also HSP and living with them most of the time is great, they do not want the loud world in our home. They are calmer most of the time. There are the meltdowns, when one gets overwhelmed then it can spread to the rest and the whole house is upset.
The big thing is to look at temperaments of each. If one is more out going or needs more thrills in their life, they might not work well with someone who is calmer. But if there is love, sometimes things can work out. There are always a group who go out and do things that are common and come home to their loving partner for some quiet time. It is a matter of balance and understanding each other.
Sometimes though, it just not works out. You need to look at whether this is due to the past relationships on yours or their side of things. If you feel that past relationships are hindering you relationship now, maybe there is a little reframing to do. We have been doing reframing for a bit now so you might want to give it a try on your own.
I plan to put mine up tomorrow.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
No Work
I have been working for a while and I do not take a day off because I am always doing something. Well today I am taking time off. I will not be writing a blog, but will add some pictures of the lavender farm I went to this morning thanks to my wonderful sweetheart. The farm was a tobacco farm and it is now lavender and wine. I wonder if they make lavender wine? Will have to check that out.
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Friday, July 5, 2013
Reframing a Critical Moment in my Work Place.
I am going to reframe a moment in my work, why I had to leave a job. So lets get right into it.
1. When I lost my job at the community centre I was feeling very anxious. I was very upset because I got a sign a few days before hand that they had an replacement for me. When I was brought in, I was told I was acting like a child because I was crying. I was angry that as a community they should be supportive of the people yet they were treating me the way they were.
2. I had always felt defeated about losing a job that I thought I liked. I thought I loved the job and it was a good fit just that the new manager didn't like me.
3. Now that I know about my HSP, I realize that the job was not all the healthy for me. If I had stayed with doing one or two f the jobs I would not have felt so overwhelmed. I might have been able to explain to the new manager why I was the way I am.
4. I think if I had known about the HSP, talking to the manager and being accused of not participating with the other would have been explained and maybe understand why I was the way I was.
5. is just allowing me to feel my feelings about the new look at the event.
6. As a community cantre I feel that they should have been much more supportive. But at the same time, no one understood what HSP was and how to deal with it. I think if I had known and was able to explain to the manager, I might have been about to keep some of the jobs.But some of the jobs were not the right fit for me and I would have been able to let them go without the feeling of not being good enough. If I had known about the HSP I think I would have been a benefit for the centre in understanding others who as also HSP.
1. When I lost my job at the community centre I was feeling very anxious. I was very upset because I got a sign a few days before hand that they had an replacement for me. When I was brought in, I was told I was acting like a child because I was crying. I was angry that as a community they should be supportive of the people yet they were treating me the way they were.
2. I had always felt defeated about losing a job that I thought I liked. I thought I loved the job and it was a good fit just that the new manager didn't like me.
3. Now that I know about my HSP, I realize that the job was not all the healthy for me. If I had stayed with doing one or two f the jobs I would not have felt so overwhelmed. I might have been able to explain to the new manager why I was the way I am.
4. I think if I had known about the HSP, talking to the manager and being accused of not participating with the other would have been explained and maybe understand why I was the way I was.
5. is just allowing me to feel my feelings about the new look at the event.
6. As a community cantre I feel that they should have been much more supportive. But at the same time, no one understood what HSP was and how to deal with it. I think if I had known and was able to explain to the manager, I might have been about to keep some of the jobs.But some of the jobs were not the right fit for me and I would have been able to let them go without the feeling of not being good enough. If I had known about the HSP I think I would have been a benefit for the centre in understanding others who as also HSP.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Writing a Letter
One of the hardest thing for me is to sell myself for make my talents in an interview or even in casual conversation. But when looking for work or job change you need to write a cover letter or bring a few things to their attention. So I thought I would give it a try and share it with you.
I would bring a few assets to this position with my experience in running my own business. Many have noticed I have a sensitivity to subtitle changes in the environment around me which helps with the wants and needs of my customers. I am work well independently and dislike making errors. I take special care in understanding what the customer wants and have a good eye for detail.
I enjoy taking my time in learning new technics and thinking out side the box. I find that maximizing this sensitivity requires a certain amount of calmness in the work place which then pays off by the quality of work. I am open to ideas and loyal when I feel that I fit in with the other employees.
OK, this might not be the best cover letter, but you might get the idea here. I hope this helps with others who are HSP have an idea what to write for theirs.
I would bring a few assets to this position with my experience in running my own business. Many have noticed I have a sensitivity to subtitle changes in the environment around me which helps with the wants and needs of my customers. I am work well independently and dislike making errors. I take special care in understanding what the customer wants and have a good eye for detail.
I enjoy taking my time in learning new technics and thinking out side the box. I find that maximizing this sensitivity requires a certain amount of calmness in the work place which then pays off by the quality of work. I am open to ideas and loyal when I feel that I fit in with the other employees.
OK, this might not be the best cover letter, but you might get the idea here. I hope this helps with others who are HSP have an idea what to write for theirs.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Chapter 6: Work and Sensitivity
This is one of the reasons I needed to do this workbook. Being HSP I have had a really hard time finding where I fit. School was bad but I learned later that home school would have been a better fit for me. But that was not how it went and I have moved past that now.
One of the hard things is that I have been told what I should be or do. I try to do the jobs I am told to do. I try to be what other want me to be, only to lose the jobs. It is hard to find a job that I am good at and pays.
So I tried to start my own business. It was doing what I enjoy doing and maybe make a paycheck that I could live on. It did not work. At this time I am not making much, but I am OK with that. I still enjoy making the jewelry.
I had spent a lot of time in jobs that I was not happy in, I have special abilities and needs that makes me looked at and treated differently. I was let go for being too slow or not being happy enough. I was not really slow, I just processed things differently and took in too much at times. And not being happy. No matter how hard I tried I could not put a fake smile on my face. I looked like Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. I was never understood, but I didn't understand either.
In Elaine's workbook, page 140, she said that, "Our trait is basically a 'human diversity in the workplace' issue"... "Biologically, we HSPs are different." People like us for out creativity, vision, vigilance for errors and many other things. But once our other side starts to show, the overwhelming we feel, that we need some down time, we feel like we are being discriminated against.
"Someday we will be valued." I would like to believe Elaine. I hope in time people will see the value of the information we have such as how to make an office space more quiet or the need for all worker to de-stress.
But until the workplace changes, I will always have problems in the workplace. However, the first task is to appreciate myself as an HSP and teach others to appreciate my sensitivity.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Analyzing Social Flops
If you are thinking that you are awkward in social situations think about why. There are a bunch of reasons why you might think you are but do they really fit or are you over-thinking as we tend to do. Here is the list of what might be going on according to Elaine's workbook p.124 -127.
* The other person didn't seem to want to talk to you.
* The other person didn't want to talk to anyone right now.
* It's you who really didn't want to talk.
* You just couldn't think of anything to say.
* You did all the talking.
* The other person did all the talking and you felt bored.
* The other person walked away after a while.
* The other person was rude, argumentative.
We are not big on chit chat for we love the deeper talk and that is what gives us a hard time when it comes to social get-togethers. There might be times that you might have not socialized as well as you thought you should have. My thought is not to worry about it. But maybe you feel you need to reframe it. Well as you saw in the other blogs, you can do that. I am trying not to worry about others might thing of my flops in social settings.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Chapter 5: In the Social World
I am part of the 70% introvert HSP. I really never thought about it that much, I just lived my life. But looking back I see that I was more in than out. I had no trouble staying in and reading or learning something on my own. But I didn't keep myself from going out when I was asked to go out or if I needed to go out. I had used my 'bubble' and just did what needed or wanted to get done and socialized with the people I was with.
OK, I didn't realize that I had been seen as 'unfriendly' because I just going on doing what I was, protecting myself from being overwhelmed. I do not see myself as being withdrawn from the world, just not being a big part of the world outside my home. There is more then enough to do inside to try to run around outside getting that stuff done to.
Maybe some of the things from my past has something to so with my "shyness" such as what I had written yesterday. I am told not to worry about what others think about me, and as you know, being HSP, it is hard not to feel what people think about you so it is just as easy not to be around people so that I do not have to feel that. Sometimes it is hard to avoid having to talk to people that give off the feeling that they just do not like you. I try to avoid talking to them as much as possible.
So what do you do to get yourself out of being shy.
Well, first of all, stop labeling yourself or let anyone else label you as shy. Remember that we need to protect ourselves from being overwhelmed when we are 'out' in the world. And for me, the big one is that you need to stop expecting yourself in being like a non-HSP who is an extrovert. Love and Accept who and what you are. That is what I am learning.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Reframing Adolescene
I didn't do this one ahead of time so it might take a bit to get this done.
Reframing one of the most painful moments in adolescence is a very hard thing to do and maybe that was why I did not do it. There are a number to times that I could pick, but I think I was hoping to block them all out. But there are times that they do come back and it is time that I pick one and take a good look at it.
... I had one in mind, and was going to do that one, but then another one came to mind that I think is more painful and might explain a few things in my life. Again I think it is something my parents did not know about.
When I about 8 my family had to move because my father was in the air force. I had a few friends, one was a boy and it was that young boyfriend girlfriend thing that is all innocent and the most you do is maybe hold hands. I told this boy that I was coming back in four years. I did not know if I really would or not, my father could be transferred anywhere. But I was sure I would be coming back and see him.
I did come back to the same base. I was now 13. All the girls and boys were starting to 'date' still not to the point of doing anything towards the sexual, but still the girls were being excerpted by the guys. I realized that the boy was still there to. I got the guts to tell him that I was back, that we could be friends again.
I was shot down. I was told that I was stupid to think he would even know me. He wanted nothing to do with me and he put me down in front of his friends.
1. I was so embarrassed. I felt unwanted, ugly and stupid. I was crying and heartbroken.
2. I think since I have had a greater fear of not being liked. I am always willing to do whatever I need to, to be liked and loved. This means I have lost who I am so many times trying to make other to like me, to love me, and not to be angry at me.
3. Being sensitive, I have taken what people think of me very personally. I fear that people will think of me in the same way as he did that day. I have a hard time believing people who think that who I really am is good enough, beautiful or even close to smart.
4. I do not think if they had known about my sensitivity that it would have made any difference. Kids are cruel and they do not worry about other's feelings and might even use that even more.
5. If I had known about the sensitivity at that age, maybe I would not have let the even shape what I thought about myself and I would not have spent so many years trying to be not what I was, and not what people thought of me dictate must of my life.
6. My sensitivity had affected the way I looked at myself, making me afraid to trust anyone who had anything nice to say about myself. I had no one to help me understand that I was too sensitive to what he had said and that just because he might have felt that way, does not mean that everyone else did. I am not stupid, I am lovable and wanted. U am just sensitive.
Reframing one of the most painful moments in adolescence is a very hard thing to do and maybe that was why I did not do it. There are a number to times that I could pick, but I think I was hoping to block them all out. But there are times that they do come back and it is time that I pick one and take a good look at it.
... I had one in mind, and was going to do that one, but then another one came to mind that I think is more painful and might explain a few things in my life. Again I think it is something my parents did not know about.
When I about 8 my family had to move because my father was in the air force. I had a few friends, one was a boy and it was that young boyfriend girlfriend thing that is all innocent and the most you do is maybe hold hands. I told this boy that I was coming back in four years. I did not know if I really would or not, my father could be transferred anywhere. But I was sure I would be coming back and see him.
I did come back to the same base. I was now 13. All the girls and boys were starting to 'date' still not to the point of doing anything towards the sexual, but still the girls were being excerpted by the guys. I realized that the boy was still there to. I got the guts to tell him that I was back, that we could be friends again.
I was shot down. I was told that I was stupid to think he would even know me. He wanted nothing to do with me and he put me down in front of his friends.
1. I was so embarrassed. I felt unwanted, ugly and stupid. I was crying and heartbroken.
2. I think since I have had a greater fear of not being liked. I am always willing to do whatever I need to, to be liked and loved. This means I have lost who I am so many times trying to make other to like me, to love me, and not to be angry at me.
3. Being sensitive, I have taken what people think of me very personally. I fear that people will think of me in the same way as he did that day. I have a hard time believing people who think that who I really am is good enough, beautiful or even close to smart.
4. I do not think if they had known about my sensitivity that it would have made any difference. Kids are cruel and they do not worry about other's feelings and might even use that even more.
5. If I had known about the sensitivity at that age, maybe I would not have let the even shape what I thought about myself and I would not have spent so many years trying to be not what I was, and not what people thought of me dictate must of my life.
6. My sensitivity had affected the way I looked at myself, making me afraid to trust anyone who had anything nice to say about myself. I had no one to help me understand that I was too sensitive to what he had said and that just because he might have felt that way, does not mean that everyone else did. I am not stupid, I am lovable and wanted. U am just sensitive.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Chapter 4 Your Childhood
As Lady Gaga said "I was born this way" and this is true about being highly sensitive. It seems to be hard to explain to non-HSP's that this is a trait that we were born with and not something that we 'learned'. Like blue eyes, I think I am the only one who has blue eyes out of my parents and my brother. I am also the only one who has kept a blondish colour hair. You can wear coloured contacts and you can dye your hair, but you are still the colour you are born with.
Being highly sensitive is what I am and I have accepted it. No one knew anything about it when I grew up and all the attention was put on helping me with my learning disability. Having both growing up has made my childhood difficult but not in the family home. I got the best support they could give, not knowing about the HS. They did what they could get get me help with my learning disability, even got into a privet school to help me with it. It is now really looked at as learning differences for I learned differently than others.
Being highly sensitive is also learning differently in that we take in more information and process it differently. I think since sensory processing sensitivity was not even thought of while I was growing up, the 'depressions' and shyness I was going through was a mix of both the learning and sensitivity differences. So when they thought that once I was helped with the learning disability it would help get rid of the depression. That was not the case and I still had ups and downs.
So, assessing my early childhood attachment style. I feel that my mother (the prime caretaker) was loving and was aware of my sensitivity though no one knew it as a trait. She was helpful when I needed it (or asked) and let me learn on my own when I needed. I have good memories of that part of growing up.
School was a whole different problem. I remember the teacher saying I was cheating. I had a habit of starting into space to daydream, or to 'see' answers on blank wall. She keep telling me that I was cheating. I was then made to see in front of the class. This would have been bad enough, but then there was a cardboard divider put around me, a box so that I could not see the class. To me that was the most embarrassing moment in my life. Not only was I pointed out as a 'cheater' I was also pointed out as different from everyone else. I remember that there was a kid in the class that had ADHD and he was able to sit in the back of the class and just roll around on the floor and 'play', ignored for his difference.
This made me feel that I was 'wrong' to be different, because I thought differently I was treated differently. Part of it was my learning disability part of it was because of my HSP. I was very sensitive in how I was treated.
I never wanted to seen as different. Different was looked at as someone to make fun of. Being on the front of the class made me feel like everyone was looking at me, watching me even thought the box was hiding me.
If the teacher and my parents knew I was HSP maybe I would not have been pointed out as much. Maybe I would have had the strength to say that I was not cheating but 'daydreaming' for the answer. I might not have felt so different and I would not feel that school was a hurtful place to go.
There was nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. I am just different, but not alone, there are many just like me. I have wonderful, interesting qualities such as my passion for creativity. I needed to be raised with special care, though they learned about the learning disability, no one new about the HSP trait. Above all, I needed to have more successful experiences and never been shamed for the sensitive reaction. A lot of pain would have been prevented if people knew about the trait but I am a more compassionate person because of it.
Being highly sensitive is what I am and I have accepted it. No one knew anything about it when I grew up and all the attention was put on helping me with my learning disability. Having both growing up has made my childhood difficult but not in the family home. I got the best support they could give, not knowing about the HS. They did what they could get get me help with my learning disability, even got into a privet school to help me with it. It is now really looked at as learning differences for I learned differently than others.
Being highly sensitive is also learning differently in that we take in more information and process it differently. I think since sensory processing sensitivity was not even thought of while I was growing up, the 'depressions' and shyness I was going through was a mix of both the learning and sensitivity differences. So when they thought that once I was helped with the learning disability it would help get rid of the depression. That was not the case and I still had ups and downs.
So, assessing my early childhood attachment style. I feel that my mother (the prime caretaker) was loving and was aware of my sensitivity though no one knew it as a trait. She was helpful when I needed it (or asked) and let me learn on my own when I needed. I have good memories of that part of growing up.
School was a whole different problem. I remember the teacher saying I was cheating. I had a habit of starting into space to daydream, or to 'see' answers on blank wall. She keep telling me that I was cheating. I was then made to see in front of the class. This would have been bad enough, but then there was a cardboard divider put around me, a box so that I could not see the class. To me that was the most embarrassing moment in my life. Not only was I pointed out as a 'cheater' I was also pointed out as different from everyone else. I remember that there was a kid in the class that had ADHD and he was able to sit in the back of the class and just roll around on the floor and 'play', ignored for his difference.
This made me feel that I was 'wrong' to be different, because I thought differently I was treated differently. Part of it was my learning disability part of it was because of my HSP. I was very sensitive in how I was treated.
I never wanted to seen as different. Different was looked at as someone to make fun of. Being on the front of the class made me feel like everyone was looking at me, watching me even thought the box was hiding me.
If the teacher and my parents knew I was HSP maybe I would not have been pointed out as much. Maybe I would have had the strength to say that I was not cheating but 'daydreaming' for the answer. I might not have felt so different and I would not feel that school was a hurtful place to go.
There was nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. I am just different, but not alone, there are many just like me. I have wonderful, interesting qualities such as my passion for creativity. I needed to be raised with special care, though they learned about the learning disability, no one new about the HSP trait. Above all, I needed to have more successful experiences and never been shamed for the sensitive reaction. A lot of pain would have been prevented if people knew about the trait but I am a more compassionate person because of it.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Shutting Out Sound
Sounds, since we can not close our ears, sounds are hard to shut out. Covering your ears with your hands makes it hard to do anything else. But they do have a lot of new and old things that will help when we are being overwhelmed by the noise around us.
One is to carry earplugs. I worked in a factory a while ago and we didn't have to wear them, but I believe it would have been better for me if I had. The foam ones are great, they roll in you fingers, are places in your ears and then fatten up in the ears to fit.
With new technology, there are phones that can be turned of or you can use ring tones that are much gentler. There are apps. that can be used on your cell phone that create white noise or sounds of nature to drown out other noise. These phones are also great for listening to music when you need to. I use to listen to music while on the bus. I could concentrate on the words to the songs and not see the bus get more crowded as we made stops along the way.
If you can, you can soundproof your home. This is hard to do when living in apartments, but there might be other ways to go about it. Even if it is putting up a fake wall. We can ask or move to quieter corners when we are out.
One thing I have done for years is sort of downing out the sounds. It started out just daydreaming. And then I just started concentrating on what I was doing to the point that I was not really hearing what was going on around me. This helps with trying to change the thoughts about the sound to, putting your might on something else so that the anger of the sound being a bother is not in the front part of your thoughts. This is not easy, but if you can do it, it does help.
One is to carry earplugs. I worked in a factory a while ago and we didn't have to wear them, but I believe it would have been better for me if I had. The foam ones are great, they roll in you fingers, are places in your ears and then fatten up in the ears to fit.
With new technology, there are phones that can be turned of or you can use ring tones that are much gentler. There are apps. that can be used on your cell phone that create white noise or sounds of nature to drown out other noise. These phones are also great for listening to music when you need to. I use to listen to music while on the bus. I could concentrate on the words to the songs and not see the bus get more crowded as we made stops along the way.
If you can, you can soundproof your home. This is hard to do when living in apartments, but there might be other ways to go about it. Even if it is putting up a fake wall. We can ask or move to quieter corners when we are out.
One thing I have done for years is sort of downing out the sounds. It started out just daydreaming. And then I just started concentrating on what I was doing to the point that I was not really hearing what was going on around me. This helps with trying to change the thoughts about the sound to, putting your might on something else so that the anger of the sound being a bother is not in the front part of your thoughts. This is not easy, but if you can do it, it does help.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Umbrella
I read in Elaines's workbook about using the idea of an umbrella to
protect yourself from the moods of strangers when you are out. I have been doing something similar with what I called my bubble, but the
book said to try to picture an umbrella. As an HSP I am a receiver of other's feeling, moods and tones and this leads to processing deeply the information around me.
Then the umbrella is down it can collect all the
emotions that others are giving off. But if you open the umbrella it can
bounce those emotions back to them and not be affected by them. You are broadcasting that you are not receiving their moods but saying to them, "Hello, I am busy and doing my thing."
You think about the umbrella up and your mind is thinking about what you need to do so that you are not receiving but sending out that you are busy. I have done this a number of times, with my bubble, but I am also seen as not friendly. Sometimes I have missed seeing people that I know, not acknowledging them. I do not have a smile on my face and they see me as unhappy. This has happened at work. I am in such deep thought, trying to get things done, that people think I am not liking what I am told or asked to do, completely miss reading my attitude. So here is a question, how do you protect yourself and seam friendly at the same time? We all see through fake smiles.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Not Doing What You Need?
If you are spending too much time in, or spending too much to out you need to really think about why you are doing that. When it is about your health, it is important to do what is best for you health. Ask yourself why you are no doing it.
But there are times when you really do not have a choice. I had two children to raise so I had to go back to work every time I had the chance. But was it worth it? I would be able to work about two years before I would be told that I had to quite so that they didnt have to let me go for not being happy enough. That might sound fishy and maybe I could have fought keeping my jobs if I had known about being highly sensitive, but I only knew that I was a cry baby and I could not get myself happy enough for anyone.
A lot of the cases it is that we are expected to be like everyone else and about to work just as long, just as hard, and be like them. I am not like the non-HSP's and no matter how hard I try, I will never be. Now that I know about being a HSP I am trying to adjust what I am doing. But the thoughts are still in my head that I should be doing more, be more 'normal' but this is jeopardizing my health.
I need to slow down and think about my health. I need to stop working until bed time. I need to start taking a day off each week and taking time off, a whole week a couple of times a year. I am not normal, I am me and I love and am accepting me as I am. I can physically work just as hard and as long as anyone else can, but this is not good for me for I get overwhelmed with all that is going on around me. My central nervous system can not take all the information it is taking in.
This is about my and your health and we need to take care of ourselves because no one is going to do it for us.
But there are times when you really do not have a choice. I had two children to raise so I had to go back to work every time I had the chance. But was it worth it? I would be able to work about two years before I would be told that I had to quite so that they didnt have to let me go for not being happy enough. That might sound fishy and maybe I could have fought keeping my jobs if I had known about being highly sensitive, but I only knew that I was a cry baby and I could not get myself happy enough for anyone.
A lot of the cases it is that we are expected to be like everyone else and about to work just as long, just as hard, and be like them. I am not like the non-HSP's and no matter how hard I try, I will never be. Now that I know about being a HSP I am trying to adjust what I am doing. But the thoughts are still in my head that I should be doing more, be more 'normal' but this is jeopardizing my health.
I need to slow down and think about my health. I need to stop working until bed time. I need to start taking a day off each week and taking time off, a whole week a couple of times a year. I am not normal, I am me and I love and am accepting me as I am. I can physically work just as hard and as long as anyone else can, but this is not good for me for I get overwhelmed with all that is going on around me. My central nervous system can not take all the information it is taking in.
This is about my and your health and we need to take care of ourselves because no one is going to do it for us.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
More About Balance
As HSP's we are continuing to find our balance of whelmness or stimulation. We can not function at our best if we are overwhelmed or underwhelmed. So we need to find our balance. Working on finding the balance is very important and is not a selfish act. I know I feel guilty for thinking about myself and I need to change that. I need to get my life balances and take care of myself so that my nervous system is comfortable and I am happy and healthy.
I would go though times when I was out too much and then have a complete meltdown, then I would become in too much and the non-HSP's would tell me that I needed to get out, do things, work lots of hours. I didn't understand why when I was out doing what I was lead to believe I was suppose to do, why I would continue to become overwhelmed to the point of meltdown. It was called depression, bipolar and anxiety. Now I know I am HSP and need to learn the balance.
As an introvert, I need to get out more, Many HSP's are introverts, but not all. I do not have much trouble getting out, I just forget that there is and "outside world" out there. So what can I do to get out there more, to get a reminder that there is a world out there.
* I do go to the post office every chance I get. It is something I was made fun of by an ex because getting mail was the excitement of the day sometimes. Ok, I was living on a hill, out in the country, there was not too many people out there.
* I could call a friend or someone I want to get to know, except my friends live very far away. I have one in Nova Scotia and one in England. I live in Ontario and that is a lot of 'space' between us, but I do email one all day and this has been great.
* If you have trouble getting out or a fear of going or doing something, bring a friend or support person. This person could motivate you and get you out more. My daughter wants to walk more and I should go out with her so that we have that time together to.
* Go for trips, short ones and long ones, whatever you can handle. We go to the beach during the week, when it is a lot less busy. It is beautiful and with so many less people around, you can enjoy the sun and the water. There is nothing like feeling the water flow over your feet and then retreat.
If you are one of the few that go out too much and find yourself tired and overwhelmed as I have done for five straight years, we need to find the balance of being in more. I am learning how to do this to.
* I read that I need more sleep. With this past year it took me some time to get that balanced, but I found that 9 hours is the best for me. I have slept 12 hours, was shocked with that. I adjusted the alarm so that I do not sleep past the 9 hours. If I need more rest later in the day because of being overwhelmed, I can take a nap with my cats who are good at letting you relax.
* Another thing I am having trouble with is taking time off. I should be taking a day off, no work, no errands, no blogging, but I have not been able to do that as of yet. I still feel like I am not doing enough.
* Plan a vacation... what is that, oh yes, I did that for the first time in many years about three years ago. I when to BC and when I got back I was blamed for thinking about myself too much. I had too much fun and didn't think of other enough. But now that I know about the HS. The vacation was exactly what I needed to do and it was the start of a new life. I need to plan more of these, one a year at least but should be closer to three, at different times of the year. So far, I have not does so... bad me.
* I meditate each morning, this keeps me from rushing into the day. This is about the only thing I have been able to enforce myself to do.
* Have a dark room that is quiet and lets you rest, meditate or read when you need it. This is my bedroom and it works well besides the cats. I feel at peace there and even if i just lay on the bed for five minutes it makes a big difference.
* Eat healthy meals, we all know what is healthy and not, but it is not always easy to do, I have been drinking smoothies, have to fight my baby, Phoenix (cat), for it. I throw in a little extra iron for I know that is what my body needs. There are many different smoothies to have that are healthy.
* There is many other things that are relaxing, there is reading a book, playing a gentle game (not the shoot-them-up kind), writing a journal or even a story, use aromatherapy; lavender is a good scent to use, while doing these things.
* Take care of our sensories, such as wearing headphones, sunglasses, a hat, or remembering to carry a healthy snack such as something with protein.
* Last but I think the most important thing is looking at your relationships, not just the person you are living with, but also relatives and friends and people you are around most of the time. You need to get rid of the negative ones if you can and learn to live with the ones you can't.
This could mean a big change in your life, but YOU are the important one. I have been doing a lot of adjusting in my life and I am careful with who I deal with now. If you are not good for me, I am sorry but I have to let you go. I need support not put downs and negativity. To be healthy I need to think of me and take care of me. I hope that you will help me be all I can be and still be me.
I would go though times when I was out too much and then have a complete meltdown, then I would become in too much and the non-HSP's would tell me that I needed to get out, do things, work lots of hours. I didn't understand why when I was out doing what I was lead to believe I was suppose to do, why I would continue to become overwhelmed to the point of meltdown. It was called depression, bipolar and anxiety. Now I know I am HSP and need to learn the balance.
As an introvert, I need to get out more, Many HSP's are introverts, but not all. I do not have much trouble getting out, I just forget that there is and "outside world" out there. So what can I do to get out there more, to get a reminder that there is a world out there.
* I do go to the post office every chance I get. It is something I was made fun of by an ex because getting mail was the excitement of the day sometimes. Ok, I was living on a hill, out in the country, there was not too many people out there.
* I could call a friend or someone I want to get to know, except my friends live very far away. I have one in Nova Scotia and one in England. I live in Ontario and that is a lot of 'space' between us, but I do email one all day and this has been great.
* If you have trouble getting out or a fear of going or doing something, bring a friend or support person. This person could motivate you and get you out more. My daughter wants to walk more and I should go out with her so that we have that time together to.
* Go for trips, short ones and long ones, whatever you can handle. We go to the beach during the week, when it is a lot less busy. It is beautiful and with so many less people around, you can enjoy the sun and the water. There is nothing like feeling the water flow over your feet and then retreat.
If you are one of the few that go out too much and find yourself tired and overwhelmed as I have done for five straight years, we need to find the balance of being in more. I am learning how to do this to.
* I read that I need more sleep. With this past year it took me some time to get that balanced, but I found that 9 hours is the best for me. I have slept 12 hours, was shocked with that. I adjusted the alarm so that I do not sleep past the 9 hours. If I need more rest later in the day because of being overwhelmed, I can take a nap with my cats who are good at letting you relax.
* Another thing I am having trouble with is taking time off. I should be taking a day off, no work, no errands, no blogging, but I have not been able to do that as of yet. I still feel like I am not doing enough.
* Plan a vacation... what is that, oh yes, I did that for the first time in many years about three years ago. I when to BC and when I got back I was blamed for thinking about myself too much. I had too much fun and didn't think of other enough. But now that I know about the HS. The vacation was exactly what I needed to do and it was the start of a new life. I need to plan more of these, one a year at least but should be closer to three, at different times of the year. So far, I have not does so... bad me.
* I meditate each morning, this keeps me from rushing into the day. This is about the only thing I have been able to enforce myself to do.
* Have a dark room that is quiet and lets you rest, meditate or read when you need it. This is my bedroom and it works well besides the cats. I feel at peace there and even if i just lay on the bed for five minutes it makes a big difference.
* Eat healthy meals, we all know what is healthy and not, but it is not always easy to do, I have been drinking smoothies, have to fight my baby, Phoenix (cat), for it. I throw in a little extra iron for I know that is what my body needs. There are many different smoothies to have that are healthy.
* There is many other things that are relaxing, there is reading a book, playing a gentle game (not the shoot-them-up kind), writing a journal or even a story, use aromatherapy; lavender is a good scent to use, while doing these things.
* Take care of our sensories, such as wearing headphones, sunglasses, a hat, or remembering to carry a healthy snack such as something with protein.
* Last but I think the most important thing is looking at your relationships, not just the person you are living with, but also relatives and friends and people you are around most of the time. You need to get rid of the negative ones if you can and learn to live with the ones you can't.
This could mean a big change in your life, but YOU are the important one. I have been doing a lot of adjusting in my life and I am careful with who I deal with now. If you are not good for me, I am sorry but I have to let you go. I need support not put downs and negativity. To be healthy I need to think of me and take care of me. I hope that you will help me be all I can be and still be me.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Finding the Middle
Now that we know why we should not be over stimulated all the time and being under stimulated either, for this is when you can over think and are bored;we have to find where the middle is. This is hard for us to find. Let's face it, we are always trying to do more then we should be, trying to make everyone happy and doing as much work as we can so that we do not look week.
Even though being over whelmed can be unhealthy for us, being underwhelmed is just as bad, as I said, before, being bored is not good. I am an introvert which people saw me as shy, but I still get out quiet a bit, maybe less so not, but being an introvert has never stopped me from being out. I am a little more cautious when I go to big gatherings, but it does not stop me. I am more of a wall flower, but if people want to talk to me, I am there, I am friendly even though I might look unfriendly.
I do find I am tired when I come home after a gathering, but that is ok, I can deal with that as long as I get the chance to rest.
My daughter will say she is bored and I look at her, wondering how to be bored. I am always learning new crafts or reading a new subject and writing or working. I have no idea what bored is. I do not have time to play games though I do play words with friends because it does not take a lot of time and it puts me 'out there' when is it so easy for me to just keep to myself.
I have a Canada Day gathering to go to and I have no issues going. I can step out when things get too much. But I know I need to go out and show people that I am still alive. I like talking to people and knowing how they are doing, but the small talk is not easy for me. I feel I sound fake. But it is part of being social.
It is finding the middle that I find hard. I have been going on overwhelmed for so long that I find it very hard to relax. I am working on it.
I try not to work too much, though the voice in my head says I should be. I like learning new skills and I like reading and writing. The reading is relaxing and cuddling is to. I am working at having the computer shut down by supper. It is hard, but I am working on it, finding the middle.
Even though being over whelmed can be unhealthy for us, being underwhelmed is just as bad, as I said, before, being bored is not good. I am an introvert which people saw me as shy, but I still get out quiet a bit, maybe less so not, but being an introvert has never stopped me from being out. I am a little more cautious when I go to big gatherings, but it does not stop me. I am more of a wall flower, but if people want to talk to me, I am there, I am friendly even though I might look unfriendly.
I do find I am tired when I come home after a gathering, but that is ok, I can deal with that as long as I get the chance to rest.
My daughter will say she is bored and I look at her, wondering how to be bored. I am always learning new crafts or reading a new subject and writing or working. I have no idea what bored is. I do not have time to play games though I do play words with friends because it does not take a lot of time and it puts me 'out there' when is it so easy for me to just keep to myself.
I have a Canada Day gathering to go to and I have no issues going. I can step out when things get too much. But I know I need to go out and show people that I am still alive. I like talking to people and knowing how they are doing, but the small talk is not easy for me. I feel I sound fake. But it is part of being social.
It is finding the middle that I find hard. I have been going on overwhelmed for so long that I find it very hard to relax. I am working on it.
I try not to work too much, though the voice in my head says I should be. I like learning new skills and I like reading and writing. The reading is relaxing and cuddling is to. I am working at having the computer shut down by supper. It is hard, but I am working on it, finding the middle.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Chapter 3: Taking Care of Your Sensitive Self
It is hard to take care of ourselves as HPS. I know I have in my mind to take care of others before I take care of myself. I also start thinking that others want me to be doing more, make more, be more. This is the wrong thinking for it makes me stressed and overwhelmed to the point where my body is screaming at me again.
If I am not taking care of myself, and start doing things the non-sensitive way I will be the one who will be suffering. Even if I am at a place that I am enjoying myself, if my body is suffering because of stress or it is overwhelmed I am not going to enjoy that time.
Overarousal is our Kripdinite or is it Cortisol? (From Elaine's Workbook), so we need to do what we can to take care that we do not get overwhelmed with the world around us. From what I have read cortisol stays in our body for a very long time. It has a lot of side effects that were not even mentioned in Elaine's book for it is not just HSP type of issues but those who tend to have anxiety and are building up this cortisol maybe the information I copied off Wikipedia will be of use.
Even a short state of being overwhelmed can lead to feeling stressed and anxious, tight muscles such as the neck and jaw, (my biting my tongue at night) sweating, memory issues, poor coordination and concentration, feeling anxious about getting things done, (so me) tired going to bed and just as tired or more so when you get up in the morning. (me also) The list goes on and if you have the workbook it is on page 74.
So how can you cope with situations that will have us stressing and building that high level of cortisol? Well we are all different and in different situations so what works with one, may not work with another. My daughter is in a very high level of anxiety and even talking about HSP with her is not going to help even though it is part of the issue. She needs help with the anxiety first.
The overwhelming feelings and the stress is the downside of being HSP and we all need ways to deal with it.
Here is my list of how I deal with being overwhelmed:
* When I feel overaroused I take time in my "dark room" the bedroom with the curtains closed and light off, no noise and a cat or three to pet as I rest.
* Learning to say NO when I need to, cutting down doing too much.
* Taking time off 'work'
* I meditate daily, first thing in the morning so that I do not feel rushed.
* I give myself permission to leave a situation if I feel overwhelmed.
* I bring the scent of lavender where ever I go to use when I need to breath in deeply.
If I am not taking care of myself, and start doing things the non-sensitive way I will be the one who will be suffering. Even if I am at a place that I am enjoying myself, if my body is suffering because of stress or it is overwhelmed I am not going to enjoy that time.
Overarousal is our Kripdinite or is it Cortisol? (From Elaine's Workbook), so we need to do what we can to take care that we do not get overwhelmed with the world around us. From what I have read cortisol stays in our body for a very long time. It has a lot of side effects that were not even mentioned in Elaine's book for it is not just HSP type of issues but those who tend to have anxiety and are building up this cortisol maybe the information I copied off Wikipedia will be of use.
Even a short state of being overwhelmed can lead to feeling stressed and anxious, tight muscles such as the neck and jaw, (my biting my tongue at night) sweating, memory issues, poor coordination and concentration, feeling anxious about getting things done, (so me) tired going to bed and just as tired or more so when you get up in the morning. (me also) The list goes on and if you have the workbook it is on page 74.
So how can you cope with situations that will have us stressing and building that high level of cortisol? Well we are all different and in different situations so what works with one, may not work with another. My daughter is in a very high level of anxiety and even talking about HSP with her is not going to help even though it is part of the issue. She needs help with the anxiety first.
The overwhelming feelings and the stress is the downside of being HSP and we all need ways to deal with it.
Here is my list of how I deal with being overwhelmed:
* When I feel overaroused I take time in my "dark room" the bedroom with the curtains closed and light off, no noise and a cat or three to pet as I rest.
* Learning to say NO when I need to, cutting down doing too much.
* Taking time off 'work'
* I meditate daily, first thing in the morning so that I do not feel rushed.
* I give myself permission to leave a situation if I feel overwhelmed.
* I bring the scent of lavender where ever I go to use when I need to breath in deeply.
" Cortisol
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Not to be confused with cortisone, a similar compound with a similar name, genesis, and function.
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|---|---|
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Cortisol, known more formally as hydrocortisone (INN, USAN, BAN), is a steroid hormone, more specifically a glucocorticoid, produced by the zona fasciculata of theadrenal cortex.[1] It is released in response to stress and a low level of bloodglucocorticoids. Its primary functions are to increase blood sugar through gluconeogenesis; suppress the immune system; and aid in fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism.[2] It also decreases bone formation. Various synthetic forms of cortisol are used to treat a variety of diseases....
Other effects[edit]
See also: Glucocorticoid#Therapeutic use
Cortisol is released in response to stress, sparing available glucose for the brain, generating new energy from stored reserves, and diverting energy from low-priority activities (such as the immune system) in order to survive immediate threats or prepare for the exertion of rising to a new day. However, prolonged cortisol secretion (which may be due to chronic stress or the excessive secretion seen inCushing's syndrome) results in significant physiological changes.[1]
- Insulin
Cortisol counteracts insulin, contributes to hyperglycemia-causing hepatic gluconeogenesis[14] and inhibits the peripheral utilization of glucose (insulin resistance)[14] by decreasing the translocation of glucose transporters (especially GLUT4) to the cell membrane.[15][16]However, cortisol increases glycogen synthesis (glycogenesis) in the liver.[17] The permissive effect of cortisol on insulin action in liver glycogenesis is observed in hepatocyte culture in the laboratory, although the mechanism for this is unknown.
- Collagen
In laboratory rats, cortisol-induced collagen loss in the skin is ten times greater than in any other tissue.[18]
- Amino acids
Cortisol raises the free amino acids in the serum. It does this by inhibiting collagen formation, decreasing amino acid uptake by muscle, and inhibiting protein synthesis.[19] Cortisol (as opticortinol) may inversely inhibit IgA precursor cells in the intestines of calves.[20]Cortisol also inhibits IgA in serum, as it does IgM; however, it is not shown to inhibit IgE.[21]
- Gastric and renal secretion
Cortisol stimulates gastric-acid secretion.[22] Cortisol's only direct effect on the hydrogen ion excretion of the kidneys is to stimulate the excretion of ammonium ions by deactivating the renal glutaminase enzyme.[23] Net chloride secretion in the intestines is inversely decreased by cortisol in vitro (methylprednisolone).[24]
- Sodium
Cortisol inhibits sodium loss through the small intestine of mammals.[25] Sodium depletion, however, does not affect cortisol levels[26]so cortisol cannot be used to regulate serum sodium. Cortisol's original purpose may have been sodium transport. This hypothesis is supported by the fact that freshwater fish utilize cortisol to stimulate sodium inward, while saltwater fish have a cortisol-based system for expelling excess sodium.[27]
- Potassium
A sodium load augments the intense potassium excretion by cortisol; corticosterone is comparable to cortisol in this case.[17] For potassium to move out of the cell, cortisol moves an equal number of sodium ions into the cell.[28] This should make pH regulation much easier (unlike the normal potassium-deficiency situation, in which two sodium ions move in for each three potassium ions that move out—closer to the deoxycorticosterone effect). Nevertheless, cortisol consistently causes serum alkalosis; in a deficiency, serum pH does not change. The purpose of this may be to reduce serum pH to an optimum value for some immune enzymes during infection, when cortisol declines. Potassium is also blocked from loss in the kidneys by a decline in cortisol (9 alpha fluorohydrocortisone).[29]
- Water
Cortisol acts as anti- diuretic hormone, controlling one-half of intestinal diuresis;[25] it has also been shown to control kidney diuresis in dogs. The decline in water excretion following a decline in cortisol (dexamethasone) in dogs is probably due to inverse stimulation ofantidiuretic hormone (ADH or arginine vasopressin), which is not overridden by water loading.[30] Humans and other animals also use this mechanism.[31]
- Copper
Cortisol stimulates many copper enzymes (often to 50% of their total potential), probably to increase copper availability for immune purposes.[32]:337 This includes lysyl oxidase, an enzyme that cross-links collagen and elastin.[32]:334 Especially valuable for immune response is cortisol's stimulation of the superoxide dismutase,[33] since this copper enzyme is almost certainly used by the body to permit superoxides to poison bacteria. Cortisol causes an inverse four- or fivefold decrease of metallothionein (a copper storage protein) in mice;[34] however, rodents do not synthesize cortisol themselves. This may be to furnish more copper for ceruloplasmin synthesis or to release free copper. Cortisol has an opposite effect on aminoisobuteric acid than on the other amino acids.[35] If alpha-aminoisobuteric acid is used to transport copper through the cell wall, this anomaly might be explained.
- Immune system
Cortisol can weaken the activity of the immune system. Cortisol prevents proliferation of T-cells by rendering the interleukin-2 producerT-cells unresponsive to interleukin-1 (IL-1), and unable to produce the T-cell growth factor.[36] Cortisol also has a negative-feedback effect on interleukin-1.[37] IL-1 must be especially useful in combating some diseases; however, endotoxic bacteria have gained an advantage by forcing the hypothalamus to increase cortisol levels (forcing the secretion of CRH hormone, thus antagonizing IL-1). The suppressor cells are not affected by glucosteroid response-modifying factor (GRMF),[38] so the effective setpoint for the immune cells may be even higher than the setpoint for physiological processes (reflecting leukocyte redistribution to lymph nodes, bone marrow, andskin). Rapid administration of corticosterone (the endogenous Type I and Type II receptor agonist) or RU28362 (a specific Type II receptor agonist) to adrenalectomized animals induced changes in leukocyte distribution. Natural killer cells are not affected by cortisol.[39]
- Bone metabolism
Cortisol reduces bone formation, favoring long-term development of osteoporosis. It transports potassium out of cells in exchange for an equal number of sodium ions (see above).[28] This can trigger the hyperkalemia of metabolic shock from surgery. Cortisol also reducescalcium absorption in the intestine.[40]
- Memory
Cortisol works with epinephrine (adrenaline) to create memories of short-term emotional events; this is the proposed mechanism for storage of flash bulb memories, and may originate as a means to remember what to avoid in the future.[41] However, long-term exposure to cortisol damages cells in the hippocampus;[42] this damage results in impaired learning. Furthermore, it has been shown that cortisol inhibits memory retrieval of already stored information.[43][44]
- Additional effects
- Increases blood pressure by increasing the sensitivity of the vasculature to epinephrine and norepinephrine; in the absence of cortisol, widespread vasodilation occurs[41]
- Inhibits secretion of corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), resulting in feedback inhibition of ACTH (Adrenocorticotropic hormone or corticotropin) secretion. Some researchers believe that this normal feedback system may become dysregulated when animals are exposed to chronic stress[45]
- Shuts down the reproductive system, resulting in an increased chance of miscarriage and (in some cases) temporary infertility. Fertility returns after cortisol levels return to normal.[46]
- Has anti-inflammatory properties, reducing histamine secretion and stabilizing lysosomal membranes. Stabilization of lysosomal membranes prevents their rupture, preventing damage to healthy tissues[47]
- Stimulates hepatic detoxification by inducing tryptophan oxygenase (reducing serotonin levels in the brain), glutamine synthase (reducing glutamate and ammonia levels in the brain), cytochrome P-450 hemoprotein (mobilizing arachidonic acid), andmetallothionein (reducing heavy metals in the body)[48]
- In addition to cortisol's effects in binding to the glucocorticoid receptor, because of its molecular similarity to aldosterone it also binds to the mineralocorticoid receptor. Aldosterone and cortisol have a similar affinity for the mineralocorticoid receptor; however, glucocorticoids circulate at roughly 100 times the level of mineralocorticoids. An enzyme exists in mineralocorticoid target tissues to prevent overstimulation by glucocorticoids and allow selective mineralocorticoid action. This enzyme—11-beta hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase type II (Protein:HSD11B2)—catalyzes the deactivation of glucocorticoids to 11-dehydro metabolites[48]
- There are potential links between cortisol, appetite and obesity.[49] "
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